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Jewel Thief

SYNOPSIS: Christos, a young man who recently lost his fiancé to an Italian athlete decides to break into her residence to retrieve the wedding ring he gave to her, with the help of a few friends.

A head’s up, this piece contains some explicit coarse language.

 

Jerry watched the glasses get topped up once more by the barkeep as the sound of roaring laughter and constant profanities filled his ears.
‘Drink up!’ smiled his friend, downing the glass in one gulp.
‘I think you’ve had enough’ stated Jerry, nodding at the barkeep to acknowledge what he’d said, who simply replied with ‘how many fingers am I holding up’, placing three fingers in front of Christos’s face.
‘Ah, twelve?’ questioned Christos as the barkeep smiled. ‘Close enough’ he said, pouring him another shot as Jerry rolled his eyes, unable to believe that a woman could have possibly done this to his friend.
‘She was my life’ said Christos emotionally, chugging the entire glass and indicating for the barkeep to pour him another, Jerry not even bothering to tell him otherwise this time.
Christos downed the glass once more. ‘I was her Orpheus and she was my Eurydice.’
‘It’s no wonder you didn’t last’ said Jerry.
‘But not to worry folks!’ shouted Christos, holding out his hands, ‘for I have a plan!’
‘Here we go’ grunted Jerry, tossing his head back.
‘I’m going to break into my ex-wife’s house and steal all of her jewelry’ smiled Christos.
‘Oh, right, that’s totally going to win her affection back’ said Jerry, clapping his hands. ‘Bravo, bravo!’
‘No, no, it’s not that at all!’ shouted Christos angrily, requesting another top up of his glass before continuing. ‘She ran off with some athletic Eyetie bastard, who runs around on a treadmill all day for a living, when she could have had all this!’ he shouted, thrusting out his hands for all to admire his body.
‘I bet it was a hard decision’ said Jerry, ‘the smell of indecent sweat in exchange for the smell of alcoholic abuse.’
 ‘I want some compensation for such unnecessary and barbaric treatment.  She left me, and I was left humiliated and disgraced’ said Christos, a tear rolling down his face. ‘And the compensation I require is the ring I gave to her in exchange for her promise.’
‘What?’ questioned Jerry. ‘You mean you wish to re-obtain the ring you won in the Kinder Surprise egg?’
‘I didn’t win it!’ shouted Christos. ‘I bought and paid for it with my own blood and sweat, and I believe I deserve it back, along with the rest of her jewelry. Which is why we’re going to break into her crib and snatch it!’
‘I’m all for the snatch part’ commented Jerry. ‘That I could really use right now, but there is no way I’m going with you to Cynthia’s place to steal her jewelry. Now, I don’t care if you paid for it, as soon as you gave it to her, it became hers.’
‘It ain’t gonna be just you and me on this gig’ smiled Christos. ‘I’m bringing Evelyn, my ex-girlfriend along, you know, the woman from way back.’
‘And why do we need her?’ asked Jerry.
‘Because, we need at least one professional on this job’ nodded Christos. ‘Besides, I’m a little terrified of her.’
‘You’re terrified of a woman?’ laughed Jerry. ‘How could you possibly be terrified of a woman? They’re all made up of sugar and other sweet, delicious things.’

‘What the fuck are you doing you dumb son of a bitch!’ roared Evelyn. Now this was the way a real woman behaved. Her mouth salivating, her hands clenched into fists, her eyes a bright red in fury as veins began to protrude from the corners of her pupils. ‘You fuck this up one more time and I’m gonna snap your fucking neck!’ she shouted, the attendant behind the register cowering in terror as he attempted to give her the right amount of change back for the twenty dollar note she had handed him for the packet of tampons she’d purchased, not to mention the several liters of fuel for her ride; a hybrid mustang.
Evelyn’s phone suddenly rang as she flicked it open, grunting ‘what?’ into the receiver before grabbing the man behind the register by the scruff of his neck and holding him over the counter. ‘Swap me out the proper change, or I’m gonna beat the shit out of you, before ripping out your eyes and skull fucking your brain!’ She watched the attendant attempt to procure the change from the register as she nodded in response to the call. ‘Yeah, I can be there’ she said, before putting her phone away and eyeing the attendant coldly.
The correct change was suddenly thrust in her direction as she caught it in mid-air preparing to leave before grunting ‘and one more thing.’ She turned around to the attendant and knocked him out with a right hook to the side of the head, leaping over the register and beginning to empty out the entire till.

Jerry shuffled in the cold, his hands in his pockets as he waited out on the side of the bridge that led towards Cynthia’s house. The ground was frozen in a dense layer of frost as his breath came out before him, his legs shaking in the cold of the night. A pair of headlights were visible on the highway up ahead as Christos’s BMW drove up beside him, the roof being disengaged as his friend smiled up at him. He was not alone however, another man who was considerably plump sitting in the backseat.
Jerry indicated for Christos to exit the car and talk to him in the privacy of the trees, his friend grudgingly following Jerry’s lead.
‘Why do we have to steal your ex-wife’s jewelry when you’re riding around in that piece of ass?’ cried Jerry.
‘I blew all the money on the car’ grunted Christos with a sideways glance as Jerry rolled his eyes.
‘And what about the jolly fat man sitting up back?’ probed Jerry. ‘I thought it was just going to be me, you, and your ex.’
‘Change of plans’ said Christos out from the corner of his mouth. ‘My aunty isn’t going to be home tonight and so asked me to take care of my cousin, Marty. He’s a little slow in the head and needs constant supervision. He has a few strange obsessions and hobbies, so don’t mind him either, and whatever you do, don’t mention we‘re going to steal anything. I have him believing we’re going to Disneyworld.’
‘Right’ nodded Jerry, making his way over to the car. ‘Hey Marty, we’re going to go steal some shit, wanna come?’
‘Awesome’ smiled Marty as Christos gave Jerry a dirty look before grunting ‘would you mind sitting in the back?’
‘Is there anything else you wouldn’t mind me doing?’ barked Jerry. How ‘bout I wipe the windows while I’m at it,’ reluctantly doing as his friend requested.
‘Can you drop something?’ asked Marty as Jerry sat beside him.
‘Oh yeah’ grunted Jerry between clenched teeth, ‘this is going to be a real pleasure cruise’ he said as Christos gave him a look before beginning to drive on towards Cynthia’s place.

Barely twenty minutes later they arrived outside of Cynthia’s. The residence was an extremely gargantuan mansion sitting on top of a large hill overlooking the surrounding plains. A metallic fence ran around the entire property as the three men admired the place. Christos stopped the car as the headlights ran over shapes before him, Evelyn beginning to walk over to them after peering in through the fence at one of the windows, entering the vacant seat up front.
‘Who the fuck is this?’ barked Evelyn, indicating at Marty as Christos said ‘don’t ask.’
‘Glad to meet you again Evelyn’ said Jerry, reaching out his hand as she swiped it away. ‘Don’t touch me!’ she cried. ‘I’m not your whore!’ She calmed down before continuing. ‘I’ve checked the place out. They left a couple of hours ago, so I don’t know how long you have.’
‘You mean you’re not coming?’ questioned Christos in a frightened squeak as Evelyn shook her head. ‘It’s your party.’
‘Jerry?’ asked Christos.
‘Why don’t you ask Marty, he looks as though he’s dying to come in there with you’ retorted his friend.
‘Drop something!’ smiled Marty.
‘And look, he’s already in the mood to vandalise shit’ grinned Jerry as Christos exited the car. ‘Fine, I’ll do it on my own you bunch of pussies’ he grunted, moving towards the gate.
‘Come back over here and say that’ yelled Evelyn. ‘Bitch!’ she muttered, watching Christos make his way over the fence and collapse on the other side before disappearing into the darkness around him.

Ten minutes later Christos had still failed to return, Jerry becoming aggravated in the back seat.
‘Drop something’ said Marty suddenly as Evelyn rolled her eyes. ‘How ‘bout I drop a turd, would you like that!’
‘That would be funny’ commented Marty.
‘Yeah, right on your friggin’ head’ grunted Evelyn as security alarms suddenly began to ring out from the household, a great crashing sound being heard as pieces of glass were showered across the grounds. Christos leapt out from an upstairs window before rolling across the lawn, making his way back over the fence and into the car with a couple of bags tucked under his arms.
‘I got the dough’ he smiled.
‘You got something’ mumbled Jerry, the car beginning to pull out from the house and onto the highway.

The next morning the BMW was parked outside of a McDonald’s drive-in, Marty being left to protect the vehicle whilst the others made their way into the fast food outlet to grab themselves a bite to eat.
A few minutes later as Jerry, Christos and Evelyn walked back into the parking lot they could instantly tell something was terribly wrong. Especially upon discovering the car missing.
‘Did we lock the doors?’ asked Jerry, looking around the parking lot as if hoping to see it parked somewhere else.
‘I don’t know’ stated Christos. ‘But I did leave the keys in the ignition.’
‘Did you happen to leave the engine running as well?’ barked Evelyn. ‘Hell, we should’ve put a sign up saying ‘please steal this car because these barmy shits couldn’t lock the fucking doors!’
‘What about Marty?’ asked Christos.
‘Screw him’ retorted Evelyn, ‘I’d be more concerned about the loot we left him with. And who’s to say he didn’t double cross us?’
‘He can’t drive!’ shouted Christos, Evelyn looking about to take a piece out of him as a police car suddenly drove up beside them, its sirens blaring as two officers sprung out from its interior.
‘Put your hands in the air where we can see them!’ they commanded as Jerry swore under his breath, Christos reluctantly doing as they asked before finding himself with the others in the back of the car.

Christos found himself in the confines of the dark interrogation room which was immediately flooded with light, an officer making her way into the room.
‘We found your car’ stated the officer, sitting down before Christos. ‘We also found your cousin in the back seat. We would have charged him with complicity in your crimes, but he’s been treated leniently because he didn’t know what he was getting himself involved in. Jerry too has been acquitted because it seems he’s quite a pillar of the community, stating he only became involved because he didn’t have the heart to say otherwise. As for Evelyn, she has a rap sheet bigger than my arm, and we just can’t be bothered going through the paperwork to charge her with something else. You however, you’re ours. I went through your file and found your educational statistics.’
‘School’s not for everyone’ stated Christos.
‘Yeah, well who wants a university degree anyway when you can receive an even better education from the Crayon Cabana. It appears you received an even more efficient education from your prior employment as well, the Majister of Meats’. She paused before continuing. ‘You know what I see before me? I see an incompetent individual who no doubt is on his way down to a place I wouldn’t even attempt to imagine. Have you anything to say for yourself?’
Christos grimaced. ‘Did you find the ring?’

MY VALENTINE

SYNOPSIS: My interpretation of a Valentine’s Day poem.

I believe I have to say what I need to say,
and all I need to do so is a good old fashioned rhyme.
Before meeting you, as far as I was concerned the world could still be flat instead of round,
however, upon saying hello, you had me, in your vice like grip.
Addendum; I don’t wish to frighten you away,
for what I have been looking for has been you this entire time.
I am just so glad that the one true love of my life I have now found,
and, like a puppy, I follow you everywhere, attached to your hip.

I wish upon a falling star that all my fantasies come true;
this dream of ours that we’ve been living I could not forget,
for it will always remain inside me, like my mind, my lungs, my heart – forever.
If this ain’t at all enough, I think about you all the time,
for I only wish to spend the rest of my existence with you.
Moreover, I clearly remember the day we first met,
where it felt as though the universe only existed to bring us together.
That feeling today is just as strong; it is just as sublime.

There is so much I wish to tell you, because on Valentine’s Day you speak the truth to the one you love.
My heart will never belong to anyone else; I am forever and always yours;
you are the only woman in the entire universe I crave,
and when with you, I experience a truly endless fantasy.
This is the truth I say; I swear it on my mother, on my father, on the God’s in Heaven above,
and my love for you, it is comparative to a storm, but it don’t rain, no, it pours,
and the rain, it is so continuous, it becomes a tidal wave;
my beautiful lady, I am afraid you are beachside property.

I do not ever wish for you to be as foolish as I,
for all of my generalisations on love; the each of them came undone,
the moment I was captured by your beauty as I marveled at your intellect, which is all so blissfully pleasing,
because you will do to ride the river with.
I do not exaggerate this, but without you I will die,
cuz I have fallen for the woman whose radiance is equal to the sun.
You constantly create butterflies within my stomach; you make it hard to breathe, and you always leave my heart racing,
and if you’re the sword, then I’ll be your blacksmith.

You were as Heavenly as an angel, as beautiful as a sunset and as sweet as a rainbow,
and to this day and the days to come you still are, as I long and behold
an incredible exotic paradise of unrivalled beauty, comprised with genuine perfection,
that has swept me off my feet and stolen my breath away; there ain’t nothing I regret.
You gave a heart to this tin man, provided courage to this lion and breathed life into this scarecrow.
I won’t allow the story of my love for you to ever go untold,
my love is the answer to your need for romance, the answer to your frequently contemplated question.
My heart is like a rifle; I have it cocked, loaded, and aiming at you; my target.

No, I don’t need a doctor, all I need is your affection,
you are as steamy as volcanic lava, as hot as a burnin’ bush,
and it is I, who is able to enjoy the glory,
for it is in your arms that I have finally discovered myself.
I wish to own your heart, and to always have your attention,
because I love everything about you, from your gorgeous face to your tosh.
Together, we can now write our very own love story
and you can have my love, which is comparative to all this world’s wealth.

I am usually quite confident, elegant and cool.
Never have I played the part of the tragically, hopeless romantic.
And now, may I confess to you, without hope nor agenda,
that whenever you are in need of me, I will gladly put in the time,
and although I have been turned into love’s all seeing fool,
and although what I’m about to say may sound terribly dramatic,
I will always be your only prince, and your heart’s defender,
even if you were to commit an atrocity or many an awful crime.

I will always love you until this beating heart of mine gives out.
I need no evidence to support me, I need no proof;
believing me to be a liar is out of the question,
for I know I are eternally yours, just as you are mine.
I will gladly talk out my feelings, or if you want, I can shout;
I am not afraid to do so, because I speak the truth.
Now, with your permission, may I offer you a confession;
today I will show my true feelings for you, my Valentine.

When we went to our first nightclub, I stood there dumbfounded and in a trance,
the first time I saw your body moving upon the disco floor.
Please forgive me for this question, but do you love me? I apologise for this question, but I feel the need to ask,
because without you I would have been lost, and I would never have been found,
for it is only with you that I have discovered a whirlwind romance.
The taste of your delicious lips leaves me hungry for love and more,
and if your love was a deliciously moist and thirst quenching liquid, I would only too gladly drink from its flask
cuz I ain’t nearly quite my usual self, whenever you are not around.

You may not think you have much, but what you do have, you certainly have a lot,
for it is only you, and only you alone, who has broken through all of my defences.
Hypothetically, if your love was a dish, it would be dessert following an exquisite meal;
if your love was corporeal, I would take it and never let it go, and its hand I would always hold;
and if you’re an angel, you are most certainly Cupid, for I’ve just been shot.
When I realised I loved you it happened; I officially woke up and came to my sensors,
unable to fathom the relationship I had discovered because it is just so surreal,
in which your love is comparative to emeralds, diamonds, bronze, silver, and not to mention; solid gold.

These words I produce seem ludicrous, but they are not a fantasy;
I need not hear the words you’re saying, for I know they’ll be divine.
You may find it difficult to accept these words as the almighty truth,
but the acceptance of this moreover, is the only way to be whole.
I know the sun is yellow, just as I know you are in love with me,
cuz I know your destiny lies in synchronicity with mine.
My want to never be leaving you constitutes my everlasting proof;
sometimes you need to trust someone to feel the touch of a loving soul.

I do not believe this is love I feel for you, I think it is something more,
they say blood is thicker than water, but my love is thicker still.
For my heart, it is a crate of dynamite, and without you it won’t ignite,
because this love, it is the storm after the calm,
and my feelings, they break every rule in regards to love, they break every law.
For you I will die, I will live, I will fight, I will kill – I will,
because in contrast to every other woman, you are a fabulous sight;
I’m obsessed with you, but its cause for no alarm.

I love all the things you say, the richness of your intellect. I love the way you giggle, guffaw and laugh,
and I most certainly enjoy, as I always have, your incredibly pleasing voice.
You needn’t worry about me deceiving you, cuz my word, I can keep,
for you are the woman of my dreams, the woman who captivates me so it seems,
and every waking moment I spend with you I wish to seal and keep forever inside a photograph.
Loving you, as always, is certainly not a chore, it was and still is my choice,
and it don’t matter if you happen to be wide awake or fast asleep,
because if there suddenly was a war tomorrow, I would want you on my team.

I will catch you every time you begin to fall,
cuz without you in my life, who could I ever love, and what could I ever do,
because without you, this life I live, it just ain’t worth living.
I need you in this life of mine, because I know you like the back of my hand;
when with you, I ain’t scared of anything at all,
however, the one thought that terrifies me the most, is the fear of losing you.
I should not fear this, cuz of all the love I have been giving,
and I hope and pray you never leave me and that these feelings you understand.

My heart was once wild and unforgiving, but with you it is so calm.
I would do anything to keep this feeling, would go to any length,
because never have I felt such pain than when we are apart.
I know you believe I’m indestructible, but without you I certainly am not;
you are the one thing, the one person, my one love, who keeps me from harm;
the one person who gives to me unfathomably, unlimited strength.
But this strength, it wanes and dies, when the two of us are apart.
If I lost my memory, you, your face and your love would never, ever be forgot.

Out of all the voices in the world, it is yours I always long to hear,
cuz even when I am down, you always make me feel so much better.
I admit, I have become infatuated; you are my one obsession.
This I will express to you tonight, whilst we enjoy some wine,
and, like that, I can’t wait to spend with you another thousand billion years.
I remember all that you said to me; I kept all of your love letters.
This is one of two things I have to say, for I have another confession;
today, I will show my true feelings for you, my Valentine.

After I first saw you, I did something I ain’t proud to admit to yer, and it made me go blind,
and there was not but a single thing in this great wide world that I could see until I saw you again,
because it is only in your eyes that I am alive, it is only in your eyes that I’m whole,
and when you are not around, I am no longer myself anymore.
Every waking moment I spend with you is so fantastic, every waking moment I wish to rewind
so I can experience it again. I need you as my lover, cuz I could never be just friends,
because you get to me on every level; you get to my every place, you get inside my soul,
and in those moments, like a bird through the clouds, I believe I can soar.

It is said that one should always greet the morning, but without you, what is there to greet?
For me, the distance – it just ain’t no good, for we should always be in close proximity.
When without you, such an experience is so awfully hard to swallow,
surrounded by heinous torment and grievous, romanticised bruises and scars.
Wherever you may go or wherever you may be, please, my darling, save me a seat,
 for we should always stay together, ain’t that the truth, because we are our own destinies.
Without you, my body, it’s vacant; it feels so empty, it feels so hollow,
and this feeling continues whenever I am millions of miles from where you are.

The romanticised beast inside me comes out, when the moon and the stars fill up the sky.
I become a violent predator on the prowl for you, and you should have heeded your friends’ warnings when they said to you ‘beware.’
But even with this said, I know you love me; you may not be able to convey it verbally, but it is written in your bedroom eyes,
not to mention that wondrous smile of yours that could light up this whole city,
and neither compliment I can assure you my darling is a fabricated lie,
for no matter where you are, whether it’s at your parents, in a tree, or having the worst day of your life; I wish to be there,
because your eyes, they stare right through me with their physically ravishing properties, and if they could talk, they would surely say to me ‘surprise.’
Dear God my luscious lady love, you are so unbelievably pretty.

I will build you a palace with my two strong hands,
and I’ll build us a church for the two of us to get married in.
Let’s invite everyone to the wedding, from our BFF’s to our mothers,
and at the same time, I will stitch you up a brilliant white dress.
When you’re drunk and disorderly, I’ll help you stand,
and after we get married, then the titillation can begin,
for I can say without a doubt, that I’ve never felt this way for no other,
my ever loving, ever beautiful, angelic temptress.

Your love is comparative to Godzilla; it is a terrifying huge and amazing creature,
whilst I am but millions of screaming Japanese, running for their lives.
Like the weather, you continuously change my environment cuz you are a force of nature, you are a hurricane,
but instead of normal droplets in a storm, these droplets are chubby, for they contain your love; yes, your love is in the rain.
In contrast to the rest of you, my love, your heart is quite possibly your single most fabulous feature,
and if I was a working bee, you would be the Queen of my heart’s hive.
For I would follow you anywhere, whether it be to Japan, Canada, New York, Africa, Mexico or Spain,
and when I am but a broken man, you are the most fabulous, no, scratch that; you are truly the only cure to my pain.

If I should die before I wake, I give to you, and only you my soul to take.
You may not know why I say this, and you may not believe me when I say you are perfect,
but you are the definition of such a word,
and when you waltz into a room, all the men look to me with jealousy, unable to look away.
Some may not bet on our relationship, but I’d bet on us, cuz I know the stakes.
When it comes to the building of love, romance and relationships, we are their architect,
and although I realise such may sound absurd,
I know that I love you because I have to express it to you physically cuz there’s nothing left to say.

If my heart was a reality program, I’d gladly have you as its host,
and if you are comparative to alcohol, then I admit, I am officially intoxicated
because I wish to always have you in my life, in a relationship that is successful.
You are my personal demon, my guardian angel, my ever delightful curse;
it is you and only ever you who I cherish, adore and love the most.
I sit here and hope, and  pray too, that this confession of love I have granted you don’t sound spasticated,
because I really, truly, madly, unfathomably love you, cuz you are so wonderful.
Your untainted beauty is the exclamation point at the end of this very verse.

On the days when I was weak, you made me feel so strong,
and, no matter the cost, I will gladly pay the price.
Unless it is something, or someone, I do not wish to part with, cuz that I was not suggestin’,
because you I could never lose, cuz you’re totally divine,
and it’s only in your arms I’ve found where I belong.
This feeling, it’s superb; one I could never sacrifice,
but these words I have said, are not all I have to say my love, for I have another confession;
today I will show my true feelings for you, my Valentine.

Love is the only emotion in this relationship of ours, there is no such thing as hate.
This romance the two of us share together, it is an incredible journey, it is a fantastical trip,
for if you laugh, I’ll laugh beside you, and if you cry I’ll dry your tears,
and I will be faithfully yours, forever and always, that is the truth I swear.
When our souls are gone from this Earth, they will write stories of our love, and how we were joined by fate.
I have not sinned in regards to love, and unlike so many others, when I get to Heaven, I won’t get the whip.
I could never hurt you, for when I see you, my pain, it disappears,
and in the end my everything will be everywhere, and nothing will be nowhere.

I can’t believe you’re a part of humanity, a member of mankind
because you are just so wonderful; perfect; beautiful; like an unidentified alien,
and all those other men, ‘em lovebirds, they’re equally as cool as I, if not more so,
but would any of them ever write a poem for you?
Without you I am lost; I am trapped in a world where I have lost my mind,
for you are my unwavering source of support, inspiration, enjoyment and motivation.
If I was a car, I would constantly be in park without you and I’d never go,
so, if you are not here beside me, what am I to do?

I love you more than Jesus, more than any other God; your words are my bible,
for what we have is as equally special as the vows of Moses.
I guess what I am attempting to say my love, is ‘I love you ma’am’,
and there is no limit to what endeavors I will dare to accomplish to touch you and your body; to feel your flesh on mine and to kiss those luscious lips of yours,
because without you in my arms tonight, I cannot guarantee my survival.
If I could, I would provide to you an infinite field of roses,
for if my love were weighed, it would register in tones, not kilograms.
Not a thing on this Earth moreover, will stop me from having you. I will knock out every person; I will crash through every barricade; I will break down every door.

Without you, my life, it is officially over;
I’m nothing more than a lifeless, living cadaver.
We are never as good as we are when we’re together,
and just like I know that you’re my best friend,
I know I would step over my very own mother,
waltz through a volcanic river of molten lava,
and climb my way to the top of the tallest sky scraper,
if it meant I could see you once again.

Out of all the women I have ever known, only one of them has ever got inside my head.
You know this one is you, owner of my heart, for if I’m a Montague, you’re my Capulet, and if I am Shakespeare’s Romeo, then you are my Juliet,
because, like those star-crossed lovers, I am infected by your unfathomably, unimaginable beauty.
I needn’t explain myself, nor the words that I possess. I needn’t admit my feelings, or how you’ve captivated me in an untainted fantasy,
but I guess I just did. Where we experience love, other’s experience something else instead;
they are caught up in a nightmare from the imagination of the Brothers Grimm. Safe to say, I am happy enough to admit I don’t have not one regret.
However; there is a pain I feel; it comes from being away from you, which is worse than intolerable cruelty.
I admit, your name ain’t Queen Elizabeth, Cleopatra or Joan of Arc. No; you’re a new generation of amazing, and your name is Pure Beauty.

With you I am John Keats, William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great. I am passionate, I am loved, I am finally complete.
And often I find myself caught up in my own thoughts and pondering with endless wonder;
what did you think when you saw me for the very first time?
I know what I thought; I thought you were sublime, an angel; something from a fairytale.
Like the towering pyramids, a huge metropolis, the Heavenly realm of Paradise and Kelly’s ‘Cow in a Tree’, you are an amazing feat.
You are indescribably intoxicating, and can strike me down like cosmic thunder.
Often I try to describe you with that so perfect rhyme,
but you are too amazingly perfect, and I can’t, so I inevitably fail.

When you love someone, you are supposed to let them go, or so I’ve been told,
and if they come back to you, as faithful as ever, that it’s truly meant to be.
I usually don’t believe in fables, or in romanticised fairytales,
for I know that the love we share, that the relationship we have, has potential,
because from the moment I laid my eyes on you I knew my heart was sold.
I don’t have to say no more, but I believe and I know that I have to decree
that the love, especially the true romance we share together never fails
because you, your love, and everything you have to offer me, is quintessential.

Like all the best things, you should be made illegal,
cuz even when I feel so bad, you make even the worst thing feel so right.
However, I should accept the blame, for my compass pointed me in your direction,
and like a fantastical angel, you always look so fine,
and, like a drug, without you life’s unbearable.
You are like my cancer, but besides that, in the darkness you are my light,
but this here ain’t all I have to say, for I have for you, yet another confession;
today, I will show my true feelings for you, my Valentine.