SYNOPSIS: My apologies for my hiatus. This here is the third poem in the series. For additional information, consult the ‘end notes’ section available at the following link which leads to the original poem in the series: http://wp.me/p24LWs-2H
These poems, on occasion, make references to the Star Wars universe and its characters. I would like to express the fact that I do not own the rights to any said ideas, which are copyright of the individual company and its owners.
I am back! Expressing my strong feelings through the art of many words,
saying what I feel needs to be said, needs to be told, needs to be heard,
for I have been terribly broken, many, many times before, and I have forgotten how frequently I’ve been lost
in a world quite unlike my own, in a world filled with unfamiliar faces, unfriendly places, and I have been boss’d
around too many times, but no longer. I used to live a life of want and hope, until everything I once new changed. So, I adapted, and now I instead live a life of need,
in which my main purpose I aim to have fulfilled is to take everything that will ensure my preservation, that will ensure my destination, that will ensure my heart is freed,
and to do that I require you; you are all I’ll ever need. With that black market smile of yours that is so illegal,
along with my exquisite charms, if I must say so myself, everything and anything is totally achievable,
so ‘let’s bounce’ I say, ‘let’s leave this town’, ‘let’s leave this place’, ‘let’s find ourselves a new destination’, ‘let’s find ourselves a new destiny’, ‘together, ‘let’s get outta ‘ere’
and experience the kind of life we always wished for but never believed we could have. Let’s spend all the time in this world together and the sum of many years
making each other feel so special. I wish for this, for last night I spent a week away from you within the corners of my mind’s imagination and I did not like what I did see; the tragic tale of one Derek Childs and his Untitled Beauty that was not meant to be,
and I decided when I eventually did awake, when I did emerge only too happily back into reality, how I did not wish to write a dark, heart breaking love poem about the imperfect repercussions that spawn from an unaccomplished fantasy.
I did not want to develop a world where I came to the centre of the road map after a long drive, only to find a barrier blocking me. ‘What is this?’ I would cry. ‘A force field? No! A travesty.’
‘No’ I say. I humbly admit I want a world where I can look into your eyes, and you can look into mine, and know that you will forever, unconditionally and always be my Untitled Beauty.
I will admit to you now my dear, I believe in honesty, and in so doing, allow me to explain; I believe in destiny, I believe in fate, I believe the world is our oyster to be, and I believe the fantasies that exist within my mind are more than what you and I could ever call ‘beautiful.’
They are something that, if put together I wish could be real, and within the verses of these many rhyming stanzas they most certainly will be, if, like me, you let your vivid imagination run wild. So, young lady, with your permission of course, please come along for the ride, it is, as you could say, ‘incredible’;
so here it is, the story of love that cannot be broken. Even though the distance is vast, what we have cannot be undone. So I call, from a land so far away just to hear you say ‘I love you’ once again
before the great grey moon in orbit fills up the triumphant night sky. The stars, they wink at me from where they are in the Heavens whilst I hear in the background of the phone call the sound of many of my much loved friends
along with the children playing and laughing oh so joyfully. I had to, in that instant, wipe a tear from both my eyes
when the melancholy of the moment became too much for my heart to handle, in the hope I would not break down and cry.
Your voice on the other end of the conversation asks with trepidation ‘when do you think you shall be
coming home?’, and I take a deep breath before confessing ‘I am never far away from my family
for you are always with me in my dreams, and those dreams, they are so, so sweet like a chocolate hot fudge sundae, don’t you dare believe they are not.’ You smile, your head titled to the side, you laugh, a truthful guffaw that sounds like a sweet melody, and then you reply
with the words ‘thank you my love, come home soon’ and I say ‘nothing can keep me from you. I could be caught in a rain storm; I could be drowning in boiling magma. I could be hurt so terribly, or shot through the heart. I could be on death’s door, or perhaps I could die
but even then, no matter what precarious situation dares to come between the likes of you and me, whatever entity believes can deal us grief, I will always faithfully return to your warm, romantic arms to look you in the eyes and say
‘I have always loved you, and I swear to you I always will, and when you’re not with me ravishing angel of whom I love, lust and hunger for, I find comfort in the arms of our first memory when we met on a comfortably warm and sunny Tuesday.’
‘Don’t get me started’ you say between lovable laughs, ‘I remember the sweetness of the moment like it were just yesterday too’,
and I retort ‘don’t worry, I’ll be home sooner than you think to kiss your lips and reassure you how our love is forever true.’
This just writ is but one fantasy of mine, and appears to be obviously caught somewhere in the middle. ‘But where did it start?’ I hear you ask, ‘when was this world begun?’
‘when was it that the two of us, two separate people, with two different lives, living on opposite sides of the world, came together to be joined romantically as one?’
‘That’s easy’ I retort, remembering quite clearly the dream that carried us into each other’s lives,
the same dream that turns young men into mature husbands, and attractive women into loving wives.
It’s a Star Wars themed after party I am at one night in celebration of the day’s events. Looking around the room from where I stand, I spot a woman dressed as Aayla Secura, who suddenly catches my eye. Making her way towards me, the young woman suddenly does ask,
a question that requires no answer on my behalf. For although real are the words she is expressing, they are thrown together into a long sentence that like herself is a charade that need not be played; a façade that is too easily broken, and an all too obvious mask,
in which she enquires if I wish to spend the remainder of the night with her. ‘I wanna go break dancing’ she continues, ‘in the corridors of the Millennium Falcon’,
and if it was not before it certainly was now that I noticed her breasts. ‘Real’ would not be the appropriate word to describe them, for they are instead comprised from silicon,
and if one part of her form was not real, then what else could she indeed be faking? Her laugh? Her lust? Her longing to spend the wild night with me? All are valid questions, and I do apologise in advance for such thoughts of mine, for I ain’t no Obi Wan,
and I must apologise once more young lady for dealing unto you the pain that is to inevitably be felt, but you have to realise, just like I do now, that I cannot be with somebody, just as you cannot, when they are not ‘the one.’
‘This ain’t no mind trick’ I reply, ‘it ain’t no delusion, and it ain’t no lie, even if you wish it to be. You play a good Jedi Master, I only wish you could be her too,
the unfortunate truth however is that you are not’ and so I am not the man whom she is looking for. In but one moment I turn, and in the same moment I spot you;
the most beautiful, incredible, desirable woman I have ever had the good fortune of laying my hazel eyes upon. The young lady beside me, her ego now crippled questions ‘young man, why cannot you love me?’
and so I sigh; I breath; I hold my forehead in my two great hands, as I begin trying to explain, ‘my many apologies young woman, but the simple truth is you are not my one and only Aayla Secura wannabe.’
I was drowning in your luscious eyes Untitled Beauty, I was drowning in the familiar face of your love, whilst dancing in the untold darkness of the beautiful summer dawn,
and as the day drew closer, so too did we, the only fear I ever had corrupting me being that which will cause me a great many disturbances; that which I will forever mourn,
the general fear that is of losing you and never having you in my life again. I do not wish to lose this chance, to lose you, to be horrifically torn apart,
for you are my image of perfection, my unflinching, respectful religion, you are the soul that has always been needed within the confines of my empty heart.
But no longer is it so empty, now full of life and ripe for picking by your succulent hands, and the succulent fruit that are my emotions are up for grabs tonight, today, any time or place,
and the key that is required to gain access to them, to the forbidden realm inside me, is your heart, your soul, your love, your lust, everything that is your personality, your body and your face,
and it don’t matter, nor will it ever, if it is the proud days of summer, the sweetness of the engrossing spring, the bitterness of autumn or the winter rain,
I will always remain open for business for you, and only you, if it means I can lay my eyes upon you Untitled Beauty, again, again and again
for the rest of time. However, I still don’t quite know your name, nor do I know you just yet, but how does this concern me when I feel this way? I called the CIA, the NSA and the FBI,
and it would seem that not one of those government affiliates, corporations and organisations knows anything ‘bout you, and if they happen to know something, they certainly ain’t tellin’ this guy.
What I do know is that you have been lookin’ all your life for the man of your dreams, the man who would treat your right, when in fact, he who you have been searching for has been ‘ere
this entire time, for he ain’t no stranger, he ain’t no alien. He is me my sweet, as he always has been, and when I say such words I do hope I sound sincere
cuz I mean every single word I say. As for my name, you can call me whatever you want if you wish, as long as it is nothing vulgar,
for I am eternally yours and I shall always be until the end of time, until my body is broken and bone, forever and ever.
Stepping towards each other, we bask in each other’s eyes as the sun rises up towards the Heaven’s and the night is all but gone for the next few hours
to allow us the enjoyment of dancing in the tranquil sun. So now, let’s spend the day together, let us frolic through the green fields of endless flowers
and enjoy many a ravishing delight. If this intoxicating feeling is called true love, then I do not wish to go cold turkey, I never want to be sober,
I want to have this feeling with me till this heart of mine gives out, and I never times infinity want the intensity, the passion or the romance to be over,
for I swore before I ever found my Untitled Beauty that I would dedicate my life to discovering who such a person was, and when my search was finally through
as it is right now, I could, and I can, and I will, officially begin dedicating my life, which I hope to be prosperous to forever and always loving you,
cuz I feel without a doubt, that here in your tranquil, moving company, here in your ravishing brown eyes, is where I am destined to belong
and I know this to be true, like any lover such as myself would, for I realised upon meeting you that I have loved you all along.
As for where I learnt about such emotions, I was taught by the professionals; Toto, Richard Marx, Bryan Adams and Ice House; they taught me about love, and Meat Loaf and Bon Jovi taught me about rock n’ roll,
and movie classics like Star Wars taught me about the need for truth and justice, the need for heroes and heroines, and the need to stand up for what is right, and as for the importance of the human heart and soul
I am self taught. I may seem way out of line, over my head, crazy even, and probably deluded,
but I shall admit to you now that even if this be the case I have my heart and my mind concluded;
I want, and I shall, provide to you eventually everything you ever wanted, everything that you are after,
my dream for you my young mistress being the ability to provide an endless life of love, luxury and laughter.
You are a radiant flower, a biblical temple, an exotic paradise, a flawlessly impeccable sight
for sore eyes, and I long to quench your abundant, unflinching, and undeniable thirst for an epic romance tonight,
for never has there been but a single moment in this life of mine in which I did not care
for you, and now that you know where these fantasies began, allow me to say how I do swear
that never will I betray your trust, betray your heart, your soul, or hurt you terribly for my words I can always keep.
These powerful feelings I have within myself for you, burn like an untamable fire, and they run oh so deep,
and never will I forget the promise I made the day I fell in love;
I swore I would be yours forever to all the Gods in Heaven above.
So if you were to ever ask the questions; ‘who can tame the untamed heart? Who can mend it if broken?’ The answer is quite simple, and it begins and ends with me,
for never was there a richer, more prosperous romance than the one that shall be told to future generations about Derek Childs and his Untitled Beauty.
So please, with this said, don’t ever cry out ‘everything has gone wrong and not a thing has gone right’,
and please do not ever complain that you feel ‘so unbelievably invisible tonight’,
for you needn’t ever feel out of place or so foul as long as I am by your side, and in response I would say to you ‘my darling, please remember, you are just so beautiful.
If we were ever separated, even for a second, no matter how long it could take me, I would build a bridge to get to you, my one and only little Miss. Wonderful.’
For anyone who has read my former poem ‘Untitled Beauty’, one would know that I based the piece upon a beautiful young woman who dressed up as Jedi Master Aayla Secura from the Star Wars universe for a ComicCon. I do not know her true identity, and I would really appreciate it if someone in the world could actually tell me such information…the link to the image and additional info on this topic can be found in the ‘end notes’ section of the original Untitled Beauty post which can be found at this link: http://wp.me/p24LWs-2H
This here is not a love poem – no, it is a poem of longing,
about hope, prayer, fantasy, discovering oneself and belonging,
which begins as every morning inevitably does. The light breaks through a moderate sized hole in the wall; the ominous ‘they’ call it a window,
but I call it a distraction, for it wakes me from my slumber where I dream I strike up a conversation with a rare beauty by saying ‘hello’,
rare beauty who is you. All the money in the world cannot buy me another minute in this fabulous fantasy,
where I kissed your sumptuously luscious and tender lips and you held onto my big, broad shoulders oh so delicately,
and I fear, the only way to experience this moment once again, is to physically find you and express
‘you are the only lover Untitled Beauty I have been frequently and hopelessly attempting to impress,
for you are the only young woman in all the world, if not the known universe I am constantly thinking of,
my sumptuously delightful lady of whom I hope to forever and always unconditionally love.
It is true, and it is a fact that I do not dare deny, that never have either of us yet met,
but even with that said, you are a young beauty I can never easily in all my years forget,
and if I am supposed to move on from this fantasy, where am I supposed to move on to?
for no one else in this great round world could ever tame this heart of mine for no one else is you.
Additionally, if I am supposed to move on, where am I supposed to go?
for you are the single greatest adventure of all time that I will ever know.
It is also true that I do not know your name, but, my darling, it is a two way street. You could ask ‘what name do you go by?’ and I’d reply ‘you may call me Naughty Nefarious’
and a giggle may suddenly spring forth from the corner of your mouth. I swear it is no joke, for a name is a name, and mine is mine, for my world becomes so much more delicious
the second I lay my eyes upon your pretty face. I feel so invulnerable, but the truth of it all is, I really ain’t all that tough,
and I fear that those three words that mean so much, but also so little, for they are said too often, in regards to you, I have not said enough.
Ma’am, I am certain you grew up in America, where as I’m from down under, from a state far adjacent to that of Perth,
and it would most definitely seem from our noble beginnings when we were born, God wanted to give us both quite the wide berth.
I dedicated my life to writing and gaining a doctorate, whilst you dedicated yours to staying at home,
loyally watching over your loving family with respect, like an unflinching, always trustworthy garden gnome.
In your spare time you use your remarkably athletic form and go dancing in the grim shadows,
whilst back in Australia, not everything is the stereotypical gullies and meadows.
However, what the two of us have in common are the numerous stars that we watch at night, and the clouds all black and blue;
that unusually warm touch you feel right now upon your shoulders young lady – that’s me, romantically thinking about you,
for I frequently hunger for your passionate affection, and I swear I’ll starve without you near,
and I wish we weren’t separated by oceans and continents, I wish you were with me right here.
I often wonder what is happening with the world, and where the old one I once knew and loved inevitably went,
and why all of the once potent emotion is being poured into pain and horror, and if it is emotion well spent.
What happened to the age old conception ‘treat others the way you want to be treated’?
for in this world, truth justice and mercy are sacrificed, and true love is defeated.
I hope this inevitability ain’t my fate, and if so, I ask you, give me another toss at the game of luck, give me a second chance,
for although I ain’t no proud patriot who can fight through thick and thicker, I am a strong believer in emotion, reminiscence and romance,
and I can assure you, I would bleed on the Union Jack to make sure the faithful stripes stay bright red.
No matter whether I’m alive or in my time of dying, I feel there’s nothing more to be said,
but I would ask that you do not become overburdened with sad and depressing emotions and burst into tears for me, and that you happily smile in remembrance instead,
and if the world was plunged into war tomorrow, I would participate if it meant I could keep dreaming about you inside my head.
When imagining a fantasy world in which we know one another I can picture a location of common place where you’re listening to Metallica
over the radio, their awesome rock n’ roll classics ripping through the speakers as you loyally jam to their tunes, before introducing yourself as ‘Aayla.’
It must be an expensive persona you are living as we attempt to guess your origins. ‘No’ you say, ‘I ain’t from Launceston, and I ain’t from Maribyrnong.
No, I am from nowhere near here. Instead, I come from a different place entirely with traditional working man roots, where Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Wrecking Ball’ is the theme song;
where the widely renown Star Wars theme is sung every night before dinner;
where the biggest loser can almost always become the biggest winner.
That’s right ladies and gents, I come from the mighty United States, and I will certainly return there soon,
so if you’ve something to tell me I suggest you confess it real quick, and by that, I mean this afternoon,
cuz come tomorrow I’ll be long gone, and young man, you especially, will be left on your own,
and being a pure blooded California gal and a pseudo Australian I can tell you twice, it’s awful cold when you are all alone.’
I have this uncanny feeling inside my heart and soul, one where I believe legitimately to have already lost you once, but I promise I won’t lose you again twice,
and to this I can assure you to ensure my promise fulfilled, I will commit to anything you ask of me and do whatever you say and I would take any advice,
no matter how fruitless it may seem, for I am officially sick of being alone, and all of this empty space;
I am sick to my stomach at being away from you and wherever you want I will meet you, any time or place.
For if feeling good is a crime (and I’ve never felt this good until I laid my eyes upon you), someone had better lock me up right now cuz I feel fantastic,
and in regards to all of your truth and beauty, and all the love in your gorgeous heart, I have officially become an addict
for you. But when it comes to love, perhaps I am simply and without a doubt incompetent
cuz I fall madly in love way too easily. Then again, perhaps I am a delinquent
for failing to expertly spot the difference between human life, unconditional never ending love and horrifying misery,
but even with this said, if I were to die tomorrow, I would never want to go to Heaven, unless you were up there waiting for me.
To have you rare angel, I will delve deep into formidable places where no hero dare goes,
and upon hearing this you might reply ‘really? Well, tell me Pinocchio, how long is your nose?’
I am no liar, you have to believe me when I say I think I love you, and to ensure your survival, I’d push you out of the way of a nuke.
You won’t ever need to be a fabulously rich duchess for me to love you, but if you were, and you were to ask of me, I’d gladly be your duke.
After hearing these words Untitled Beauty, it might be best that you throw away your key after locking all your windows, and barring all the doors,
and make a pact with Satan, or pray to whomever God you solely believe in, for no existing mortal entity can save you anymore
from my love, which is invulnerable to harm. However, in reality, I have to ask you, in regards to romance, how can it be a good thing if those we love are doomed to die,
after pledging all of our allegiances and our love into their lives, and rare angels such as yourself succumb to destiny and perish, before plummeting out from the falling sky?
But if this unfortunate fate were to become yours, to get you back, I can assure you, I would traverse through the village of the damned,
if it meant eternal happiness could return to me again, and I could one day have my loving heart safely under your command.
When the world is at its darkest, and I’m drowning in the depression of the rain
I simply sit back and gladly admire your beautiful picture once again,
and imagine what you might ask me if we were to meet. You’d enquire ‘Derek, Naughty, whatever title you choose to go by’, before asking what I am going to do for you,
and I’d truthfully reply ‘I would take the stars right out of the night sky if such an act could prove my love alive and whole, and I would paint ‘em pink and purple and even pure gold too!’
It may sound completely out of this world insane, but what I say is not a total fabrication, and it certainly ain’t a ruse;
if given but one opportunity to spend my life with anyone, you are the only person I’d always faithfully choose,
because sweet Aayla impersonator, you are without a doubt one in 7.4 billion.
Dressing up in all those outfits moreover, you look exactly like a saucy chameleon;
you look incredible; you look beyond inhuman; you look flawless; you are perfect undoubtedly,
and with those luscious red lips and that sugar sweet smile I just know you are destined to belong with me.
Sometimes the darkness wakes me up and sometimes the silence speaks so loudly it is deafening to behold,
for whenever I am without you Untitled Beauty, I suddenly feel so indescribably cold,
because it is only in your eyes that I believe I have found where I eternally belong
and never until this moment which stands before me now have I felt so immeasurably strong.
However, in this inhospitable place, I fear I might be labeled the interloper, or the pariah
because of you my darling, for being all that I’ll ever want, all that I’ll ever need; for being my eternal desire,
and, to put a stop to this, people may light up their torches and sharpen their pitchforks too, before coming to claim me,
and will point to those who can corroborate that it was I, the antagonist, who acted with such vile villainy,
for all the boys who look upon you are filled with lustful gluttony, and the women become so jealous
at your unfathomable angelic beauty, and as for I, you make me so romantically ravenous.
Remember when I said this was not a love poem my dear? Well, I have to admit that perhaps I lied,
and if such be the case you could always blame it on the demon I have within this heart of mine inside.
I can assure you, I do not write these words in order to gain power, and I will certainly never need the likes of money or fame,
especially after I win over your beautiful beating heart, for then I will have everything I’ll ever need once it’s you I claim,
and although I still don’t quite know you, from your personality to your values, from your general likes and the neighborhood
you grew up in, judging by your looks alone, you deserve to be erected centre stage in the middle of Hollywood,
and then, once I’ve identified who you are and more, as promised, I’ll spend my life staring lovingly into your eyes forever.
The chance, if even there was one which I doubt, of me falling out of love with you my darling rests somewhere between naught and never,
so if you have ever had grave concerns, I ask that you ‘don’t fret, don’t cry and don’t ever believe
that feelings from your heart unto mine is not the one thing that I have always wanted to achieve.’
THANK YOU FOR READING!