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On the day that I do die

A piece of poetry about a life unfinished, a death that came too soon, and a love that was not accomplished

On the day that I do die, there is something that I would have planned to say
when I arrive in front of Saint Peter sometime on the following day.
He would probe me with many varieties of questions about my life thus far; questions I would have to answer,
as to ascertain that I was not a danger to Heaven, and so would not spread through paradise like a cancer.
I do not know if I would provide to the man the answers that he did seek,
but the words I would say would come from my heart when I eventually did speak;
I lost one woman because I loved and cherished and cared for her too much,
and the last thing I ever felt was when our lips did passionately touch.
I lost the second woman I adored because I did not love her enough,
and on the day we left each other, my heart felt so barren, broken and rough.
The third and final woman that I loved could not allow a relationship to be,
and the day I died I was in love with a woman who could never truly love me.
I do not know if she felt anything for me; joy, anger, sadness, remorse, the day that I did die,
all that is for certain, is that until that day, I never realised a young woman could make you cry.
An ocean of endless tears constantly fell across my face as I frequently wept,
whilst at the same time, the one woman of my dreams, she happily partied, drank and slept.
I do not know if she did hate me, or if I happened to cause her absolute disgust,
but always I did believe in my heart, who said she was the one, so my heart I did trust.
I read once that we choose who to love, for love is but a chemical, and we give such a powerfully romantic emotion meaning by choice,
but in this circumstance it was not my decision to love her; I simply fell for her beauty, her intellect, her professionalism, her voice.
From the moment I first laid eyes on her, she was undeniably and constantly in my thoughts,
for if there was such a thing as the web of love, in hers, like a fly, I had been officially caught.
However, I do not know if she was capable of romance, or if she was focused solely on her career,
and even though I am now officially dead and gone from the world, this is the one thing I still frequently fear,
for even though I can no longer be hers, I still wish for her to experience and feel true love,
and from now until she eventually finds ‘the one’ I will always look down on her from up above.
She believes that upon meeting the man of her dreams, the both of them shall fall in love immediately,
and I do suppose that I am, to this day grievously disappointed, that such a man could not be me.
Maybe when I was alive, I was simply not destined to be the man to give to her a life of romance,
but now that I do think about it, never in life did she provide to me one single, miserable chance.
When the sun did set, she would go with her friends to bars and clubs in an attempt to ‘reel in’ Mr. Right,
whilst I was willing to give her absolutely everything she ever wanted, every day and night,
and if I could not provide all that she had wanted, then I would have done my very best
to give to her a life that at night would allow her to sleep soundly and happily rest.
However, on no occasion did I see a line of men queuing up in the hope of being forever hers,
for only I had shown such interest, so why could she not be with me – why could she not be with this young sir?
Perhaps if she had been able to love me, in fact, I am certain of it, my heart would not have committed suicide and I would not be dead,
but, even if this be the truth, I will only ever love this one ravishing, gorgeous young woman, I will never love anyone else instead.

Elisha

SYNOPSIS: A confession of love for a beautiful young woman.

 

There’s no one else like you
who I’ve ever met
who is so beautiful.
Promise I’ll always love you,
the most perfect human being
who is so wonderful.

Elisha, you’re such a wonderful girl
I believe I know
who’s in my very soul.
All the money in the world
cannot add up to
the love I have for you.

Sent you love letters
beauty queen of the year,
who’s the bride of Heaven.
Want to make things better,
to dry away your tears
as you’re Earth and Heaven.

See you once in a while
where you’re higher again,
way past Heaven above.
With your beautiful smile,
wishing to be your friend,
and you’re one true love.

Always and Forever

Beginning Notes:
There are many poems written every day. This particular poem is about many different themes; this particular poem is about pain; sadness; loss; heartbreak; sorrow; the exploration of life; the human spirit; the strength of the human heart. But most of all, this is a poem about love; more importantly; falling in, being in and enjoying love. This poem is dedicated to and is about a woman, but not just any woman; this poem is about a woman that no man could ever possibly forget. Not always will this poem make sense, and at times it may even be contradictory, repetitious and obtuse, but always, always, will it be forever true. The human heart is an ocean of many, many different stories, and I would like to share with you, dear reader, one now. I do hope you enjoy this romantic tale as you ride upon the waves of this verse.

The Poem:
I just managed, I believe from a miracle, to successfully take back my health.
I’m so happy, I’m so heartfelt, I’m so hung over – I really just can’t help myself;
I need to confess something that has been weighing on my mind, there’s something I need to tell
someone, and it goes something like this; I could kiss you for hours on end when the rain fell,
I could hug you in the middle of a storm; I could keep you warm in the dark of the night,
I could look upon your beauty for centuries, I could stroke your skin come morning light.
I could take a photo of your flawlessness and hold onto it forever,
I could fight for you and die for you if it meant we could just be together;
I could serenade you with empowered words of love by day and cook you dinner when the moon arises.
I could grace you with everything, and even after a hundred years still astonish you with surprises.
I could board an aeroplane today and be with you tomorrow just to give you a kiss,
and confess, that never have I tasted anything as sweet as your crimson lips, young Miss.

You know that feeling – when you have lost love, and then you find it again in the heart of another oh so rapidly?
That feeling – that intense, obnoxious, amazingly fantastical, intense feeling is what has overpowered me.
I was lying down in the centre of the empty suburban street one night – love had officially hung up on me,
when I suddenly received a call – and upon answering, guess who spoke – a woman of unbelievable beauty!
She was older than I, and with the exception of two amazing times I had never fallen for an older person,
but I tell you, struck down, by lighting I was, for I could not, and still cannot, quit thinking about this beautiful woman.
Maybe I ain’t as strong as I would hope, after all, I ain’t built from metal and other strong stuff.
I try to get close to you, young lady, but every time I do so it ain’t nearly close enough,
for I cannot let you go. I look up at the clear dark night, and I can see the moon,
and I know you can see her too, and I hope the two of us can be together soon
for when either of us look up at the great sky from where we are, whether it be day or night it is always the same. If that’s the case, then we both must be on the planet Earth,
and so it would be just so easy, wouldn’t it, for us to meet somewhere? You can set the location, I really don’t care where; be it Washington, London, Tokyo or Perth.

In the end, unlovable is but one word that can describe a fallen soul,
and it is a word that can describe me for instead of a heart, I’ve a hole,
for pain is the unrelenting punishment that is forced upon me as a result of being alive,
and I have come to realise that sooner or later the pain will win out and I will not survive.
Perhaps that’s for the better. Maybe when I’m dead and gone nobody will grieve, and nobody will cry,
and maybe there will be many a happy person on the planet Earth on the day that I do die.
Perhaps every acquaintance I’ve ever met will feel a sense of joy running up and down their spine
which will alert them to the arguably obvious fact that the death they felt was indeed mine.
In the eyes of some certain people I may be a hideous, unpopular, unlovable creature,
and perhaps if I be honest I may say that I might not be blessed with a single attractive feature,
and like I said before, maybe death be good, for there is honestly without a knowable doubt nothing left,
for my heart is broken and barely operating and I remain barely human and utterly bereft.

As a man myself, I can speak from experience; once you fall out of love, you always set your sights on the one woman you cannot acquire.
In your eyes, I want to be seen as a man with an actual heartbeat and a possibility for romance rather than a feared pariah.
I am not asking you to fall in love with me at first sight, but I am asking for a single chance;
not to experience a fairytale, but to have a stereotypical legitimate romance
which is quintessential to the soul. Human beings in general are social creatures, I know this for a fact,
which is why, even after so much pain and bludgeoning, my heart and soul have remained totally intact
as to have a relationship once more. Perhaps this time it will be forever, perhaps this time it will be with you,
and I hope that in the very near and hopefully possible future you might be able to feel the same way too,
for I have been in love before, and I am aware of this just as I am aware of my constant heartbeat,
and whenever I see you I have this powerful feeling which begins in my chest before it consumes me from my head to my feet.
I can understand if this sounds absurd, but I have no intention of ever hiding the truth in regards to love, and my feelings I will not deny,
and to be with you, I will do anything that you ask; I will plead; I will beg; I will write; I will draw; I will with pleasure live; and I will gladly die.

It all began with a blog on the social media platform known only as WordPress.
Never in all my years did I believe the content that I had developed could impress
the eyes of a beautiful woman to come looking over all that I had done,
and in that specific moment my heart, you, young lady, had officially won
and so, in regards to your own meticulous work, I became a loyal, unflinching follower,
one of oh so many it would seem. It was not long after I was transformed into a lover
of your face; of your smooth features; of your sacred flesh. My eyes, they lit up like a great menagerie of fire-
flies transcending across the sky in the darkness of the night as I looked upon the woman I now desire
with an untold passion that burns more brightly than the sun, creeping across the horizon in the wee hours of the morning,
and just like that, my heart cried out for something impossible; it cried out for something more as a new love affair was dawning
upon the path that is my life. I knew then just as I know now that these feelings are never going to leave.
I assure you, you can trust me and my many words; all you need do is look into my eyes and believe.

Love is love I say, and so do many others, and love is but hard to find;
love is the one thing that is always without question on my heart, soul and mind
when I think of you. What name could have hath been given to a woman of such brilliance, a woman who in a million years I could not forget?
What emotions could be conjured by the heart of a romantic? However we are just friends for the moment, I swear, nothing has happened yet.
Love is always and forever the one intended endeavour, it is the only necessary task
to gain, and when someone finally discovers their one and only, people poke them with questions and ask
‘are you having fun yet?’ and the answer always is ‘yeah, yeah’.
People always warn me about love, they say ‘buyer beware’,
but I can take care of myself, really, I can take care of my own,
is it too much to ask for some love, I am tired of being all alone
and I would do absolutely anything to succeed in this fruitful desire
and prove how I’m capable of being your man, of being your merciful messiah.

Cupid visited me in my dreams last night; she didn’t look the way I had thought
she might as she instructed me that there was something that I absolutely ought
to do with my life, which included; settling down, finding a good job and acquiring a partner;
a girlfriend, an individual who was more than excellent to be my one significant other.
When I awoke this morning I could not possibly fathom if the plan had been set in motion,
all I knew was that if my heart was anything it was a terrifically wide, deep blue ocean
that is willing and able to belong to something good, like a passionate relationship, someone new,
like a young woman beyond anything upon this planet we call Earth, and I know that woman is you.
I realise I have not done what was supposed to be initially orchestrated,
for it is something different entirely that I have undoubtedly promulgated,
for Cupid had intended for me to have a grand relationship with an Australian,
and instead I wish to have be romantically involved with a certain Arizonian.

There was a time when angels would walketh the Earth, and still they do as depicted by the image of this gorgeous American
from Phoenix Arizona, who has undeniably captured the loving heart, mind and eyes of this Australian citizen,
for my soul will be but forever forfeit if my soul will be not always yours,
and I would do anything to hold you, to kiss you and to do other things and more,
for the word ‘gorgeous’ is but a word, and it barely scratches the surface of your physicality,
and I don’t think a word hath been invented to articulate what you will forever mean to me.
There was a time once when I was unsure what you were to me, but no longer do I have to make my heart choose,
for I want you in my heart,  there’s nothing left to say, for I could never just have you as a plausible muse.
To hide this huge secret of mine, I could provide to you a suitable pseudonym rather than to call you by your actual name,
for such does not matter to me because regardless of your identity, masquerade or not, I would personally still feel the same.
I am at a crossroads; I hope my words don’t seem too expensive ma’am, and I hope they don’t sound too cheap,
because your intricately stunning and elegant beauty, it runs so intoxicatingly deep.

My heart is a dictionary on everything in regards to passion,
for my heart is as wide and free as the never ending, open ocean,
and I can promise there is nothing I am not aware of, there is not a thing that I do lack,
and all you need to do is say the word and I’ll gladly follow you, my darling, to Hell and back,
cuz you are an exotic paradise I have never had the opportunity to explore,
and the loving dream I had last night of being with you, I long to have right down to the very core
of my beating heart. Within the dream last night, I was lost within one helluva escapade;
I had in the process of seeing you lost both my mind and my head from where they had once laid
atop my neck. Upon waking I was happy; I wanted to return, and I’ll say again, I will follow you to the ends of this Earth,
because of everything that I have ever seen and have experienced, of everything that I am aware of, you are undeniably worth
it. All that is required from you, my dear, is that you call my name, and upon doing so, I’ll gladly be there,
be it any place on the atlas, any time of the year, or absolutely, unequivocally anywhere.

I have known you for only a couple months, but a couple months are all I will ever need
to quench my undeniable thirst for loving romance, to bring a stopper to all my greed
for a heart to be connected romantically only to mine for the rest of time,
and to enjoy the kind of love found in a fairytale or in a nursery rhyme.
I could follow you without question to the ends of this Earth
for your words, like treasure, have an unquantifiable worth,
and your photos that you choose to share and upload to your blog frequently make me smile.
If I had the digits for the All Night Radio Love Line their number I would dial
and I’d ask them to play the song ‘I knew I loved you’ by Savage Garden
for you to hear, cuz my beating heart you have without permission taken,
for I was powerless against you with your words of wisdom and your looks of beauty.
Miss; would you ever consider going out on a date with a guy the likes of me?

I listen to the living world around me; to its traffic; to its cities; to its nature; to its ambience,
as I gaze into the affectionately passionate eyes of unequivocal, virginal innocence
that can be described as a sweetness of extraordinary prowess that cannot be tamed,
which belongs to the truest of all true beauties, that cannot ever on paper be named.
If I had a flower for every time I had thought of you, then I do suppose all the flower’s in the world I would need to pluck,
and if you blow a man a kiss from your crimson lips,  I hope only for his sake, he’d better know to immediately duck,
because if your looks can captivate anyone, then imagine what just one kiss could do,
for there is nobody else in this world who I know to be quite as ravishing as you,
for I have seen your life written in photos, drawings and literature within the pages of your great blog,
and it always breaks through the walls around my heart, the brain barriers and the many immense layers of fog
that exists within my mind. Your words are always warm and inviting, and your photo’s are exceptionally great,
and I don’t know if I ever did believe in angels in Heaven, but after looking upon your face, I certainly without a doubt believe in fate.

I have never met you, and I probably never will,
but even with this said, my feelings, they grow stronger still.
I’d ask if we might have dinner, if it wasn’t an issue,
see, the one thing in all the world I want, is spelt ‘y’, ‘o’, ‘u’;
but dinner is not ever going to be option for there’s an ocean in the way,
we won’t be having dinner tomorrow, we won’t be having dinner any other day.
I’ll admit, perhaps I’m totally crazy, I realise that I’m a fool,
for I know I’m probably not that popular and I know I ain’t that cool,
but even with these many words writ and read, I want with you something special; an unbelievably amazing romance
that could sweep you off your feet, and I’d say ‘screw it’ to anything that stood in my way for I’d give everything for a chance
to kiss your oh so unfathomably gorgeous crimson lips on a starry moonlit night;
I know I’m not awesome, but perhaps I can prove that I’m the one; that I’m your Mr. Right.

 ‘Kiss me darling’ I would say to you, ‘touch me’, ‘let me know I’m real;
you are all I truly want, and all that I long to do is feel
your beating heart’, for you are all I ever seem to care
about, and to have you, I call upon the winged prayer
of a Heavenly angel, and I call on Jesus Christ himself
to give unto me the power and to provide to me the wealth
to offer you a marvellous life filled with all you will ever truly need,
and to have you, I’ll face off with the volcano’s edge and I will burn and bleed,
for I must admit, I am through with this façade, this fabrication if you will, and no false truth will ever make do,
than to have the single most gorgeous woman on all the Earth in my arms today, to forever and always have you,
because I do not dare wish to be relegated to a forgotten bitter memory in your eventual past or visualised as just another Facebook friend,
but at the same time I am morbidly terrified that by making any sudden moves, whatever I already have with you may come to an unforeseeable end.

Have I spoken out of just term? Have I been impolite and said too much?
Sometimes I can be like that, being a soporific romantic and such,
but do not ever think my words aren’t real, don’t ever think they are not true;
do not think for but one second that I do not have strong feelings for you.
For I write this piece filled with many rhymes and stanzas for you and only you,
and perhaps I should not confess to this, but I haven’t said all that I want to,
for there’s unfortunately still much weighing upon my heart and still there’s much weighing on my chest;
I must say all that needs to be said, else I promise I will never again be able to rest,
and although there’s but a couple sentences left, due to their content, I wish to say them to you in person.
I wish that the opportunity I seek indeed had the possibility of coming to fruition,
for certain words are better spoken rather than scrawled across the page from several hundred miles away;
and what I wish to express begins and ends with this promise my lady, ‘I will love you every day.’

I feel you are level headed, or is that fear that I be feeling whenever I passionately think of such rare beauty,
who I fear may take one look at the stanzas past and present and may begin to loathe, and perhaps even be frightened of me.
On that note, just remember, I’m a Scorpio, and like any good scorpion I might be aggressive but I will love you forever;
we don’t have to passionately kiss; we don’t have to lovingly hug; we don’t have to romantically touch; we don’t have to be together
because my feelings will never change. I remember everyone I have loved, and I still love them with all my heart and my soul,
and you, young lady, needn’t ever be jealous or scared, because you are the one piece that I require to be heart and whole,
for I really truly love you, more than you could ever fathom, believe or even know;
my only wish is that there was a way to let my uncontrollably strong feelings show.
I do not mean on a piece of paper, or over the internet; I am way past that;
I want to stand beside you and temporarily remove from you your broad brimmed straw hat,
so I could have direct access to your face, and touch your skin with my fingertips,
and just when I believe things couldn’t be any better I’d gently kiss your lips.

If I were to suddenly find myself at the end of my life’s journey on the hour of my death,
the last words I want to say that linger upon my rich, rose coloured lips as I take my last breath
would be your name, before you bestow upon me with your crimson lips an amazing kiss of life,
that immediately removes from me and my existence inevitable impending strife
as to allow me the gift of living just a little longer to look upon your beauty some more.
I can assure you, although I don’t know how, you are the love of my life that I have been searching for,
but for now, I will hide my feelings where they cannot be seen or found, and I will simply pretend,
that I am not infatuated with you, no, I’ll make myself look like another blogger friend
until the day I am given the opportunity to tear down this unshakable masquerade,
and in my heart on this blessed occasion will be held a terrifically romanticised parade
unlike any other, that will put every romanticised event of the heart held before it to immeasurable shame.
I only wish, that if this were a love story, as I wish it were, that at the end, like a fairytale, your gorgeous heart I could claim.

You, my lady, are like gravity; you are like the wind; you are like the air
I breathe. I can never see you, but I know deep down that you are always there,
and if you were to concentrate, you would feel me too; that gentle warmth running across your shoulder –
that is me holding onto you, soothing you, pleasuring you, as the nights grow a little colder, 
for you look upon the same moon as I, and your face is illuminated by the exact same sun,
and just like I know that these words I write are one hundred percent whole and true, I know you are the one
for me. But perhaps you have been hurt, and if such be true, I do apologise, but what you hypothetically had with a last partner was not love,
so I beg of you, blame it only on the man who was a fool to ever harm such fair beauty, but blame it not on the Heavens in the sky above
for the horrific pain that your little heart should not have had, but was forced to endure
every waking minute, for true love is all you’ll ever need-true love’s the only cure
to your pain. Now, I realise I don’t know you as well as I should – in fact I probably don’t know much at all really, but I do know one thing to be true;
young lady, I really, truly, undoubtedly, unfathomably, passionately have the strongest of all strong feelings for your heart, because ma’am, I love you.

I cannot imagine that you were ever born on Earth, so I guess you must be a member of fairer Heaven,
for I am but a shipwreck stranded at sea, and you are my lighthouse guiding me home; my precious blonde haired beacon.
I fear I have been without a certain someone, a certain paramour, for far too long now, and in doing so perhaps my words are sounding desperate,
and this in turn may be why I have decidedly fallen for the woman whose beauty is so astronomical that she deserves the certificate
for been the most beautiful woman in all the known universe, and on the night that you do win, so would be a time for the most expensive wine
to be drunk in cause of this epic celebration, for never was there a woman so elegant, so luscious, so amazing or so divine.
I wish that I, like Peter Pan could fly up towards the Heavens, and that you young lady, could be my Wendy, or perhaps a Tinkerbell,
for never would there be a better story than the one about how I feel for you, never would there be a story I would want to tell
more so than this, for I cannot help but want you, even if I initially only wished to have myself a gorgeous muse,
because out of the three billion something women in all the world around us, you are the one I would always happily choose
to be forever mine. My only wish is that you quit writing; no more journaling; no more poetry; no more prose,
for you writing is so seductive; second thoughts, please keep writing, for I could not live without your words I do suppose.

I wonder if there could ever be a time when you could look back and remember who I was.
Maybe I would have meant something to you deep inside, maybe not too. I only ask because
you’re gorgeous, you really are; never in all my years have I had the pleasure of having a fairer face reflected in  my hazel pupils,
and when I think of you my heart beats faster, I find it hard to breathe, and certain parts of my body become harder, including my nipples.
Moreover I do believe I know the identities of a couple other men who have fallen in love with you;
there is a boy in a hat, a man whose name starts with a ‘D’ and a few others who have remained anonymous too.
Now, hypothetically, if you were to choose to have a romance fuelled relationship with one of us (I know you won’t, but sill, if you were)
please, I implore you to take my advice when I say; choose any man that you wish, for that is your prerogative, just don’t choose this young sir.
I do not say such words with confidence, nor do I say them with ease, but with a heartbreakingly weak sigh,
for I believe these men could offer you more, and maybe have more love in their hearts, and with that thought, goodbye.
If there’s one thing I want you to realise, it’s that I love you, this I need you to know,
because it is said by many a man that when you love someone you have to let them go.

I wonder if the someone I am writing about here is reading these words right now.
My powers of prediction are less than adequate, but I wish this were true somehow.
‘Neither of us have met’ you might state, before asking ‘how can you fall for someone who lives on the other side of the world?’
and I would graciously reply in response ‘you are intelligent, you are so gifted, you are cute and you are a girl;
that’s all I’m looking for, that I’m certain of, that’s what I know,
so, please don’t leave me be, please, young lady, do not let me go.’
I wish there was zero chance of you leaving me behind and quite the opposite of you staying where you are, but I know that’s just reckless, blind, hope,
masquerading as the impeccable ability that which I have ignorantly and egotistically created that can help me cope.
I agree; my feelings may be a lot of things – delusional, deranged, insane perhaps – but they need no explanation,
for in all the world; in all its beauty; in all its contents; in all its uniqueness, you are my wanted destination,
for I feel that I need you the way I need to breathe; the way I need to drink; the way I need to eat and I am certain that all of you reading this can relate when I admit how I have a constant dire need for oxygen,
just as I have a dire need for you. As for your identity, here’s a clue; your name begins with the third letter of the alphabet, or perhaps the tenth; other than that, I ain’t admitting to anything without a reason.

You can’t make someone love you; it’s an unfortunate fact I’ve found, but someone can make you love them with but a twitch of their eye,
or perhaps a smile, a light hearted giggle or an intelligent quote, and then you know without them, your heart and soul will die.
Upon finding you, I will love to run my hand through your exotic hair and stare into your utterly ravishing blue eyes,
that are as clear, flawless and amazing as the Heavens that hang above me, and the never ending cloud free cerulean skies
and even though the truth might always times infinity be that we are a couple hundred thousand miles apart,
the distance, it don’t really matter, for there is nothing ever between us because you are always in my heart.
I’d run a thousand miles just to hear you say my real name, for you know I’m not a ‘Derek’, no, I’m a ‘Nicholas’,
and even though my words may seem oddly strange, I can forever assure you that my feeling’s ain’t ridiculous.
Now, I know I’m not the only man who feels such feelings; there are many men who crave you, and they number in the millions,
and every single one of them is vying for your gorgeous beating heart, your flawless love and your undying affection.
However, I will want them to know, that I am a ravenous wolf, hungry for passionate love, and without you my dear, I will eventually starve,
and I am so greedy and conniving that I do not wish to share you;  I want you alive and whole and I irrefutably refuse to go halves.

Many a man on this Earth will dream of something, and my dream is to be with you. I will be but yours, all you hath do is say the word and you can have your way with me and do with me what you will.
Like a plastic figurine, you can contort my frame into a menagerie of odd shapes; you can twist and turn me in and out, and if it shall be your command you could harm, injure or even kill
me, for as long as I am with you, any moment will be but beautiful, for we both shall be side by side,
and nothing could make me feel more alive; nothing could be more magical; nothing could provide me with such pride
and happiness as I am girt by your love, and you with mine forevermore in a moment truly more marvellous than anything imagined
by anyone with a creative heart, soul and mind, because I do not believe such would  be pure happenstance; I believe we are but destined
to be together. However, proven am I, a romantic already, and I fear my heart be but contaminated with such failed logic,
but even with such written words placed upon this blank page, I know deep within myself that to be with you tonight would absolutely do the trick.
But could you ever truly lower yourself to be with someone of lower standing, aptitude and grace,
who would gladly come after you with all that he has, but if the tables were reversed, you would not give chase,
because you are you and I am me and I tremble with real fear at the general idea that the angel Cupid did not want for me to feel emotions that were ever quite so powerful, quite so delusional, or quite so wild,
but just know – if you ever want to love a man who you can rely upon to never fall out of love with you (unless Tara Mokhtari falls for me which is highly unlikely), just call the name of this lover, just call for Derek Childs.

Ma’am, I am no Roman Payne; I ain’t no Brad Pitt, and I am no Ryan Gosling,
and by the conclusion of this day, I will not be the man you shall be kissing.
Like all the other many men infatuated with you, we be but early foot soldiers in the war for your love,
for never was there a more beautiful woman in all existence than the one who hath fallen from Heaven above.
Like a falling star, you bring about many a positive feeling, a sense of hope and longing and all round good fortune,
and I take my one and only opportune chance to make the wish I dream to be mine beneath the light of the crescent moon,
in the hope that one day perhaps I could be an object of desire, longing and affection in your handsome heart,
and if good luck be bestowed upon me, forever shall a love affair be kindled and never shall we be apart,
because I do  believe that a dream depicting you would be beyond delightful, but a life with you would be oh so much better,
because I cannot imagine anything more fascinating than spending time with the young woman I want to be with forever,
because you truly are, as far as I can honestly tell, without a single flaw you inhuman Godlike seductress. I do not just think such thoughts, I know them for a fact, because you are physically, mentally and spiritually beautiful, and have a beautiful soul and smile as well, and I find myself wondering, would you too be a beautiful kisser?
I would very much appreciate the opportunity to taste the flavour of your kiss and discover the truth of this for myself, but I definitely doubt that anyone as amazing as you could be anything but fabulous in this regard, for there has not ever been a woman who captivated me so the likes of Lady Ginger.

I may have to warn you now before you acquire the wrong impression, I have always been attracted to women who were a little older,
and the intense feelings I have for you dear heart linger on inside me like an immovable object; an incredibly ignoramus boulder,
for you have captured my love heart effortlessly and now with all your talent, you perform like an eccentric ballerina upon its centre stage,
and at day’s end I’m certain of love and I realise I don’t care about the differences, just as I know it would be impolite to ask your age,
just like it would be deviously nefarious of I to ask about your religion; your culture; your background,
besides, none of this affects nor concerns me because true love and beauty I have inevitably, finally found,
but in any case, I do not give a darn about the multitude of differences that separate us so, and all I really care
about is you, always and forever unto the end of time, I will love thee; the woman with the radiance of a solar flare
and I need not stress again how deeply I feel for you, cuz I’ve stressed it numerously over the course of this truthfully honest piece.
I probably have no need articulating your beauty as I already have and my feelings are obviously not going to cease,
and now, I add, this mild mannered man, this dubious author, this aspiring poet, will ask that you please,
consider granting me the chance, and allow me to be your lover, your fighter, your heart’s romantic disease.

I swear to you, I will not ever go quietly into that good night
and I will not ever give up without putting up a tremendous fight
until I have confessed to you all that is weighing so heavily upon my body, heart and mind,
regardless of whether you feel my words are redundant for within them the truth you shall always find.
However, I will admit to you now, I don’t know how to articulate my feelings, I don’t know what to say,
all I know is that you are beautiful; you are incredibly sweet; you are attractive with a capital ‘A’
and a gargantuan explanation point at the end, and I know that what I am feeling is love, I am absolutely sure,
and I am unequivocally certain that in all the world, no one else could ever have such strong feelings or ever love you more,
even though you speak of already being in love. If this be true, then my heart is weighed with much sorrow as I confess that your lover, he is a very lucky guy,
and I hope he realises this, for many a man would agree that it would be so easy to make the decision to do anything, even if that meant to die
to be where he’s standing now – with you; the single most gorgeous woman in all the world, both physically, spiritually and every other way imaginable. I do not say these words lightly; I speak only from the heart and my heart does not dare develop wild illusions nor ever communicate with a forked tongue.
Even if you do not accept me, and I am certain that you won’t and I understand why, I will have you know; a millennia from now someone may read this verse, and in these words they will read of you; your beauty; your intellect; your graciousness; your skills; for in this verse you are, forever and always alive – and young.

End Notes:
The conclusion; the epilogue if you will; the final piece of the puzzle must always be as elegant as the story that came before it as to allow the reader to feel complete. I haven’t the words to succeed in this endeavour, so allow me to simply write; if you have a certain someone that does not know how you feel for them – be sure to tell them you are in love tonight.
Thank you for reading these words dear reader.

5 Minutes To Go

SYNOPSIS: A hypothetical scenario of the end of the world and who one would like to spend those last few minutes with.

Why does the world’s largest catastrophe
have to happen to you and me?
We could not contain global warming
and now our planet is exploding.
Angry red fire burns us alive
but in the end our love survives.
Although we fall under annihilation,
love remains our greatest salvation.

Here under the Milky Way
our world is slowly blown away.
There’s nothing we could do
so let me hold onto you.
Please forget the world’s on fire,
tonight you are my single greatest desire.
As the world begins to blow,
we only have five minutes to go.

We stare into each other’s eyes
as our world begins to die.
I hold you close to my heart,
even in death, we won’t be apart,
I hold you tightly my precious pearl,
as we say goodbye to our world.
We remember all the things we have done
as our flesh is joined together as one.

If the world was truly about to end
I would undoubtedly love to spend
every dying minute alone with you
until the world’s destruction took me from you.
When the world swallows your face,
there’d be nothing which could replace
my undying love that’ll last forever,
in Heaven we’ll always be together.

Untitled Beauty Part II

SYNOPSIS:
For anyone who has read my former poem ‘Untitled Beauty’, one would know that I based the piece upon a beautiful young woman who dressed up as Jedi Master Aayla Secura from the Star Wars universe for a ComicCon. I do not know her true identity, and I would really appreciate it if someone in the world could actually tell me such information…the link to the image and additional info on this topic can be found in the ‘end notes’ section of the original Untitled Beauty post which can be found at this link: http://wp.me/p24LWs-2H

THE POEM:

This here is not a love poem – no, it is a poem of longing,
about hope, prayer, fantasy, discovering oneself and belonging,
which begins as every morning inevitably does. The light breaks through a moderate sized hole in the wall; the ominous ‘they’ call it a window,
but I call it a distraction, for it wakes me from my slumber where I dream I strike up a conversation with a rare beauty by saying ‘hello’,
rare beauty who is you. All the money in the world cannot buy me another minute in this fabulous fantasy,
where I kissed your sumptuously luscious and tender lips and you held onto my big, broad shoulders oh so delicately,
and I fear, the only way to experience this moment once again, is to physically find you and express
‘you are the only lover Untitled Beauty I have been frequently and hopelessly attempting to impress,
for you are the only young woman in all the world, if not the known universe I am constantly thinking of,
my sumptuously delightful lady of whom I hope to forever and always unconditionally love.

It is true, and it is a fact that I do not dare deny, that never have either of us yet met,
but even with that said, you are a young beauty I can never easily in all my years forget,
and if I am supposed to move on from this fantasy, where am I supposed to move on to?
for no one else in this great round world could ever tame this heart of mine for no one else is you.
Additionally, if I am supposed to move on, where am I supposed to go?
for you are the single greatest adventure of all time that I will ever know.
It is also true that I do not know your name, but, my darling, it is a two way street. You could ask ‘what name do you go by?’ and I’d reply ‘you may call me Naughty Nefarious’
and a giggle may suddenly spring forth from the corner of your mouth. I swear it is no joke, for a name is a name, and mine is mine, for my world becomes so much more delicious
the second I lay my eyes upon your pretty face. I feel so invulnerable, but the truth of it all is, I really ain’t all that tough,
and I fear that those three words that mean so much, but also so little, for they are said too often, in regards to you, I have not said enough.

Ma’am, I am certain you grew up in America, where as I’m from down under, from a state far adjacent to that of Perth,
and it would most definitely seem from our noble beginnings when we were born, God wanted to give us both quite the wide berth.
I dedicated my life to writing and gaining a doctorate, whilst you dedicated yours to staying at home,
loyally watching over your loving family with respect, like an unflinching, always trustworthy garden gnome.
In your spare time you use your remarkably athletic form and go dancing in the grim shadows,
whilst back in Australia, not everything is the stereotypical gullies and meadows.
However, what the two of us have in common are the numerous stars that we watch at night, and the clouds all black and blue;
that unusually warm touch you feel right now upon your shoulders young lady – that’s me, romantically thinking about you,
for I frequently hunger for your passionate affection, and I swear I’ll starve without you near,
and I wish we weren’t separated by oceans and continents, I wish you were with me right here.

I often wonder what is happening with the world, and where the old one I once knew and loved inevitably went,
and why all of the once potent emotion is being poured into pain and horror, and if it is emotion well spent.
What happened to the age old conception ‘treat others the way you want to be treated’?
for in this world, truth justice and mercy are sacrificed, and true love is defeated.
I hope this inevitability ain’t my fate, and if so, I ask you, give me another toss at the game of luck, give me a second chance,
for although I ain’t no proud patriot who can fight through thick and thicker, I am a strong believer in emotion, reminiscence and romance,
and I can assure you, I would bleed on the Union Jack to make sure the faithful stripes stay bright red.
No matter whether I’m alive or in my time of dying, I feel there’s nothing more to be said,
but I would ask that you do not become overburdened with sad and depressing emotions and burst into tears for me, and that you happily smile in remembrance instead,
and if the world was plunged into war tomorrow, I would participate if it meant I could keep dreaming about you inside my head.

When imagining a fantasy world in which we know one another I can picture a location of common place where you’re listening to Metallica
over the radio, their awesome rock n’ roll classics ripping through the speakers as you loyally jam to their tunes, before introducing yourself as ‘Aayla.’
It must be an expensive persona you are living as we attempt to guess your origins. ‘No’ you say, ‘I ain’t from Launceston, and I ain’t from Maribyrnong.
No, I am from nowhere near here.  Instead, I come from a different place entirely with traditional working man roots, where Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Wrecking Ball’ is the theme song;
where the widely renown Star Wars theme is sung every night before dinner;
where the biggest loser can almost always become the biggest winner.
That’s right ladies and gents, I come from the mighty United States, and I will certainly return there soon,
so if you’ve something to tell me I suggest you confess it real quick, and by that, I mean this afternoon,
cuz come tomorrow I’ll be long gone, and young man, you especially, will be left on your own,
and being a pure blooded California gal and a pseudo Australian I can tell you twice, it’s awful cold when you are all alone.’

I have this uncanny feeling inside my heart and soul, one where I believe legitimately to have already lost you once, but I promise I won’t lose you again twice,
and to this I can assure you to ensure my promise fulfilled, I will commit to anything you ask of me and do whatever you say and I would take any advice,
no matter how fruitless it may seem, for I am officially sick of being alone, and all of this empty space;
I am sick to my stomach at being away from you and wherever you want I will meet you, any time or place. 
For if feeling good is a crime (and I’ve never felt this good until I laid my eyes upon you), someone had better lock me up right now cuz I feel fantastic,
and in regards to all of your truth and beauty, and all the love in your gorgeous heart, I have officially become an addict
for you. But when it comes to love, perhaps I am simply and without a doubt incompetent
cuz I fall madly in love way too easily. Then again, perhaps I am a delinquent
for failing to expertly spot the difference between human life, unconditional never ending love and horrifying misery,
but even with this said, if I were to die tomorrow, I would never want to go to Heaven, unless you were up there waiting for me.

To have you rare angel, I will delve deep into formidable places where no hero dare goes,
and upon hearing this you might reply ‘really? Well, tell me Pinocchio, how long is your nose?’
I am no liar, you have to believe me when I say I think I love you, and to ensure your survival, I’d push you out of the way of a nuke.
You won’t ever need to be a fabulously rich duchess for me to love you, but if you were, and you were to ask of me, I’d gladly be your duke.
After hearing these words Untitled Beauty, it might be best that you throw away your key after locking all your windows, and barring all the doors,
and make a pact with Satan, or pray to whomever God you solely believe in, for no existing mortal entity can save you anymore
from my love, which is invulnerable to harm. However, in reality, I have to ask you, in regards to romance, how can it be a good thing if those we love are doomed to die,
after pledging all of our allegiances and our love into their lives, and rare angels such as yourself succumb to destiny and perish, before plummeting out from the falling sky?
But if this unfortunate fate were to become yours, to get you back, I can assure you, I would traverse through the village of the damned,
if it meant eternal happiness could return to me again, and I could one day have my loving heart safely under your command.

When the world is at its darkest, and I’m drowning in the depression of the rain
I simply sit back and gladly admire your beautiful picture once again,
and imagine what you might ask me if we were to meet. You’d enquire ‘Derek, Naughty, whatever title you choose to go by’, before asking what I am going to do for you,
and I’d truthfully reply ‘I would take the stars right out of the night sky if such an act could prove my love alive and whole, and I would paint ‘em pink and purple and even pure gold too!’
It may sound completely out of this world insane, but what I say is not a total fabrication, and it certainly ain’t a ruse;
if given but one opportunity to spend my life with anyone, you are the only person I’d always faithfully choose,
because sweet Aayla impersonator, you are without a doubt one in 7.4 billion.
Dressing up in all those outfits moreover, you look exactly like a saucy chameleon;
you look incredible; you look beyond inhuman; you look flawless; you are perfect undoubtedly,
and with those luscious red lips and that sugar sweet smile I just know you are destined to belong with me.

Sometimes the darkness wakes me up and sometimes the silence speaks so loudly it is deafening to behold,
for whenever I am without you Untitled Beauty, I suddenly feel so indescribably cold,
because it is only in your eyes that I believe I have found where I eternally belong
and never until this moment which stands before me now have I felt so immeasurably strong.
However, in this inhospitable place, I fear I might be labeled the interloper, or the pariah
because of you my darling, for being all that I’ll ever want, all that I’ll ever need; for being my eternal desire,
and, to put a stop to this, people may light up their torches and sharpen their pitchforks too, before coming to claim me,
and will point to those who can corroborate that it was I, the antagonist, who acted with such vile villainy,
for all the boys who look upon you are filled with lustful gluttony, and the women become so jealous
at your unfathomable angelic beauty, and as for I, you make me so romantically ravenous.

Remember when I said this was not a love poem my dear? Well, I have to admit that perhaps I lied,
and if such be the case you could always blame it on the demon I have within this heart of mine inside.
I can assure you, I do not write these words in order to gain power, and I will certainly never need the likes of money or fame,
especially after I win over your beautiful beating heart, for then I will have everything I’ll ever need once it’s you I claim,
and although I still don’t quite know you, from your personality to your values, from your general likes and the neighborhood
you grew up in, judging by your looks alone, you deserve to be erected centre stage in the middle of Hollywood,
and then, once I’ve identified who you are and more, as promised, I’ll spend my life staring lovingly into your eyes forever.
The chance, if even there was one which I doubt, of me falling out of love with you my darling rests somewhere between naught and never,
so if you have ever had grave concerns, I ask that you ‘don’t fret, don’t cry and don’t ever believe
that feelings from your heart unto mine is not the one thing that I have always wanted to achieve.’

THANK YOU FOR READING!

to the Woman of Unimaginable Beauty

SYNPOPSIS: A piece about the incredibly powerful emotions a man feels for no woman in particular, and the confession that is to be supplied to this fortunate, or rather unfortunate as the case may be, woman.

There is a thin blue mist slowly drifting over this incorruptibly fair city,
which is settling in after the departure of the rainbow which was so pretty.
There is a faint pool of dried blood located down on the east highway,
relinquished from the body of the young lover who died yesterday;
yet another casualty of love that is constantly under restoration,
whose parents are forced to endure a powerful, emotional explanation.
This young man never told the woman that he loved how he felt in his heart
and instead of bringing two people together it has torn them apart.
I do not ever in this life of mine want this unfortunate event to happen to me,
which is why I write this poem for you; to the woman of unimaginable beauty.

I must warn you however that I am a weary and untalented poet,
who will never be as great as Shakespeare and his irresistible love sonnets.
Nevertheless, if I could find the words to describe the beauty of your face,
what a talented romantic I would be within the so called ‘human race.’
Whenever I lay eyes on you a chill rushes through me that penetrates right down to the bone,
I have decided that from this moment on I do not wish to spend this life of mine alone.
For deep within this body of mine I feel such incredibly strong feelings for you inside.
I write this poem to avoid confessing to you my strong feelings, a task I have not tried.
My dreams may seem ludicrous and these words I use may seem completely deranged,
I only hope that in the very near future my luck will begin to change.

My life first began the moment you said my name and I heard your amazing voice,
for me; an in-valid, to experience this, you made a sacrificial choice.
I wish that one brief moment we shared together I could eventually rewind
and admit to you my true feelings that are trapped within the confines of my mind.
Nevertheless, this could never take place, for I could never take your rejection,
wishing to instead be granted all of your love, grace, support and real affection.
I dream about you every night however, and I know I will do so again
because you are without a shadow of a doubt, my one and only piece of Heaven.
But wishes, they are all of them like dreams and they do not always occur
and in ten years time your memory of me will be no more than a blur.

They say the heart is the strongest muscle in all the body, but for me this cannot be true,
for if it were so I am certain I would have the heart to share all of my feelings with you.
You may ask why I’m infatuated with you; it is because you are different from the rest,
the same way, for lack of a better metaphor, denim dreams are different to a denim vest.
I may of course seem incredibly foolish, or perhaps even unfathomably stupid;
my excuse? I have been shot, by that mischievous little angel known as Cupid.
I would like to add, you are beautiful. No matter whether you’re covered in make-up or in a mess,
your hair, arms, legs and breasts, along with your vagina and clitoris; all of it, I wish to caress.
Of course, if you permit me, allow me to add I believe I love you very much.
Remember, you are never alone, your beautifully warm body I wish to touch.

I no longer in this life time want to keep my heart trapped within an internal cage.
In all honesty, I want to make sweet love to you, and have your body as my stage.
I wish to meet both of your parents, and confess to your father and mother,
that my dream is to always and forever be your one and only lover.
I wish to spend my life with you, not with all of the other billions of women.
I rehearse this line in my mind now as to repeat it in the future again.
I’ll continue to pour out my heart and soul and state ‘wherever you are, that’s where I’ll go.
Where that is exactly, whether it be now or in the distant future I do not know,
but wherever this specific location in time is, that’s where I’ll be,
for you will always continue to on every level ravish me.’

If I must be the author of my own destiny, I wish to write it with you,
for no woman could take your place and no one else in the world could ever make do.
In-between the two of us I feel a remarkably romantic connection,
that is fueled, controlled and inspired by my own immeasurably strong passion.
I wish however that I had the nerve to verbally convey these emotions when I speak,
which is why it pains me to realise that when around you my spirit becomes so weak.
Around you my tongue becomes so tied and twisted and my heart begins to flutter,
and all the words I wish to say to you fail to appear as I choke and stutter.
But in my heart I know I need to get over this for without you I am eternally blue
and all I wish to say is; ‘take those lips and place them on my own as I wrap my arms around you.’

There is no other life form in this universe I could ever appreciate more,
everything that makes you who you are today is without a doubt worth fighting for.
This would explain why I always dream of you being close to me; being just so near
on a day when the scorching sun is out and the skies are just so crystal clear.
On this day I would ask; ‘do you want and need me the way I want and need you; lover of whom I lust,’
and you would politely reply to me ‘young man, you have a huge heart, but honestly, what’s the rush?’
If I were to continue to speak and to persist with my words, I believe you would say, ‘boy, you talk a little too much.
I can understand your love and affection for me, but it’s obvious, you’ve been corrupted by an insatiable crush.’
But even such words could not hinder these feelings, for I truly love you without a doubt.
Unfortunately, I always will, for you are the one woman I cannot live without.

I no longer want to be a stranger, no; I want to eternally be yours.
If you were indeed a football team you would constantly receive a perfect score.
You have a blessed halo hovering above your head and a devil upon your shoulder.
If I did not enjoy such ravishing qualities I would not long to be your true lover.
This is not all that I want however, wishing to be with you through all the days of your life,
to have and to hold you for all eternity as the mother of my children and my wife.
With this said, may I continue to add, how can I live without you near?
Moreover, how can I truly live when that voice of yours I cannot hear?
Furthermore, at the conclusion of this verse, I wish for you to see me for who I am;
I may be a romantically challenged individual, but I am a loving man.

At the end of this poem I would like to conclude on a far more romantic note,
one which is far more ravishingly extraordinary than what I previously wrote.
With that said, I would like to state, you look more divine than divine, and more sexy than sumptuous,
I can say without a flickering shadow of a doubt that you are incredibly delicious.
Your eyes, they are like two diamonds, shining on a cool, mid summer’s night
filling up my hunger for romance constantly with endless delights.
Your lips moreover are the window to your soul; a place of never ending bliss,
which are opened so tentatively with the touch of my succulent, crimson kiss.
At long last however I can only hope you see such feelings as truthful rather than wrong,
for it is deep within the confines of your gracious heart that I eternally belong.

I See You

SYNOPSIS: A piece dedicated towards a woman who will never properly see the man who loves her so, or even realise the feelings that he has bottled up inside for her.

I don’t know if you saw me,
but I know I saw you;
looking the way all lovers do
when they look into your eyes;
trapped – within a paradise.
I look upon your silky lips;
wishing to touch your finger tips,
and I imagine how it could,
be like for us to kiss;
such a moment I would
undoubtedly never miss.
Can’t believe I didn’t try
to stand by on your ground.
Now I’m left here to cry
cuz to you I’m lower down,
believing we were meant to be.

I see roses of red,
I see violets of blue,
you’re my girl
I desperately want you.
I see roses of red,
I see violets of blue,
I realise I’m in love
when I lay my eyes on you.

I don’t think you know me,
but I think I know you.
From the moment we met I knew
as the blue clouds turn to gray
and the days slowly slip away,
I surrender to your eyes;
my feelings I can’t disguise.
I hope this moment ain’t over
in this following minute,
I want to be your lover
and I truthfully admit it.
I will give you everything
to you that I own.
Except for my heart, I’ve nothing,
because of the seeds I have sown;
hoping you can one day love me.

I smell roses of red,
I smell violets of blue,
don’t know if you love me
but I know I love you.
I smell roses of red,
I smell violets of blue,
my heart brightened up
when I laid my eyes on you.

I don’t know if you noticed me
or if you ever will;
struck by your looks which could kill.
You’re the person I know
and I’m loving you so-
without you, I’m losing my mind.
It is you my heart has to find
to confess how I feel,
wishing to never be apart,
over an exquisite meal
where I open up my heart.
But you moved like a blur
and my opinion now stands,
because of the pain I incur,
never holding onto your hands
but mesmerised by your beauty.

I feel roses of red,
I feel violets of blue,
I wish I could go out
on a date with you.
I feel roses of red,
I feel violets of blue,
I’ve never been so happy
than when I’m looking upon you.

I don’t know if you need me,
but I know I need you ma’am;
looking back on the fool I am.
I can’t believe I’m not with you
when it’s your heart I am drawn to.
I constantly dream that I can-
eventually become your man.
To do this I’ll give up my heart
and I’ll give up my home,
not having you tears me apart
and leaves me alone.
For you are my ecstasy,
promising to give you pearls
because I want you to be
forever and always my girl;
if only you could see.

I see roses of red,
I see violets of blue,
you’re my girl
I burn for you.
I see roses of red,
I see violets of blue,
I realise I’m in love
when I see you.

I breathe in roses of red,
I breathe in violets of blue,
you’re my girl,
I’m hot for you.
I breathe in roses of red,
I breathe in violets of blue,
I realise I’m in love
whenever I see you.

It’s not Easy

SYNOPSIS: About a man, or perhaps even a woman, who wonders what it would be like to be with the woman that he or she loves, and contemplates the wish of there being many different ways that could be optional to see if there is in fact a Heavenly future for the both of them, and the repercussions of said future.

There are things in this world you cannot change,
some people in this world you cannot love.
If only reality could be rearranged
so this Earth could reflect Heaven above.

Yet if that happened, this world would be over,
and I would lose my chance to tell you how I felt.
I don’t know if my heart could ever recover
the significant trauma that would be dealt.

Sometimes I wish the future could be seen,
so that I would know what the future holds;
I could discover a world where you are my queen,
turning my heart from ash to liquid gold.

Yet in real life if I said I wanted you
this facade would not be what you truly become;
I cannot foresee what you would possibly do,
but I know in my heart it would hurt someone.

What I write may never come out with ease,
but my heart cannot stay shut forever;
I only hope that you listen and that you please,
allow us a chance at being together.

Yet in the end you will never read this verse
and so my heart shall become frail, weary and dry.
Your inability to love me is my curse;
always absent from our kingdom of the sky.

It’s not easy for me to write these words,
because deep down I don’t know what to do.
You ever loving me is completely absurd,
yet I still wish to spend my life with you.

I’m Never Going to be Good Enough for You

SYNOPSIS: The title basically summarises the entire outline of the poem; the notion that someone is ‘out of one’s league’ is the theme of this piece, where the man of whom the poem centres around confesses his undying love for the woman he is infatuated with, knowing full well that he is not deserving of spending an eternity with her because she is far too amazing.

On this particular day, my heart and soul, shall dress totally in black;
figuratively and hypothetically, from now until forever, my heart shall never look back.
For I have made an empty silence, of my heart,
depriving myself of my true love as we begin to part.
Never will you know the way I truly feel,
such ideology originally appearing so surreal.
I begin to hear my heart violently riot and shout
believing this to be the young woman I am not to be without.
And yet in this fantastical reality of my so called life
I know you were never meant to be the mother of my children, nor my wife.
And although I will always terribly miss you,
I know in my heart, I’m never going to be good enough for you.

The sky begins to lose its colour and the sun irreversibly turns to gray,
at least that’s how it feels as I begin to turn my back and walk away.
I don’t know if it’s just the world or if I’m going insane
but I constantly find myself crying out your name.
Perhaps I am too late, but this feeling is running throughout my heart and soul,
I think I learnt what love is, but I’m afraid I let the trail go cold.
I attempt to trick myself to quit feeling the pain inside,
however the pain will break through; it always does, until it reaches the outside.
I know deep down without you I shall never be alright
the one good thing I need, I just can’t have tonight.
If love is anything, I have discovered it is a terrifying race
and in the end I’m constantly, if but lucky – left in second place.

In my mind I have these broken dreams whilst I attempt to sleep,
constantly it’s your face I see, which ultimately makes me weep.
If I could have but one wish I would grant you the gift to see
the roaring emotions I have for you which live inside of me.
However things shall go wrong, they eventually always do,
my soul never been given the ability to belong to you.
But I was so young and naïve when I believed in all of this,
believing I would one day have the chance to taste your forbidden kiss.
When I was young, like everyone else, I felt the sun would always shine
and that inevitably you would, on one glorious day, be mine.
But even if you should leave and completely disappear
a part of you will always remain within me right here.

I sat up on the roof last night and looked up at the stars,
under the cover of the moon I contemplated my life thus far.
As the sky began to change and become a far deeper shade of blue
my mind began to manifest all my thoughts onto one subject – which was you.
I pretended you were close to me, but it wasn’t nearly close enough,
without you standing close to me my life shall inevitably be rough.
I remember how I always love the way your clothes make you look;
you are so amazing because you never do anything by the book.
I too am cursed to remember the beauty of your laugh,
wishing to freeze such extravagant beauty within a photograph.
These memories constantly rip apart my heart and make me feel so foul,
I could not imagine how you could be any more beautiful than you are right now.

There’s nothing I wouldn’t ever do for you, but there’s nothing I’d do either,
I wish you could put yourself into the shoes of this cold, lifeless cadaver.
My love for you consists of a constant roaring emotion,
which is tossed about inside me like a ship on the ocean.
For not confessing these feelings to you I haven’t any legitimate reason;
this false identity I have created is as cold and lifeless as the winter season.
But if I were to confess my feelings, what words could possibly define,
the way I feel about this someone, who looks so perfectly divine?
When it comes to confessing feelings, I don’t need a book to show me how,
moreover, I won’t ever need a teacher to explain to me I want you now.
Because in all honesty it seems my ship has run aground
and you are the nesessary tide I need to come spin me back around.

I know your name, but I will not dare to write it down,
for you are the single most beautiful woman in this entire town.
I do not write down your name from fear of the embarrassment it would cause,
for you, the woman whose singular beauty has but not a single flaw.
However, by not confessing how I feel my eyes shall constantly weep,
your amazingly intricate beauty – it runs so extraordinarily deep.
The point of this journey of mine is to never actually arrive,
yet every time I look at you I am thrilled to be alive.
I know in truth we are not destined to ever be together
but I can promise you my dear, my love for you shall last forever.
I cannot keep up this facade much longer and my heart can no longer pretend
so here’s the truth – I’m the man of your dreams, masquerading as your good friend.

I wish you could take these words to bed with you and hold onto them at night.
I wish I could take you home with me and tell you everything will be alright.
I know there is a method in my madness as to why I live a lie,
in reality I hope I shall eventually live before I die.
For how could I allow the story of my love for you go untold;
such a narrative perfectly representing the day my heart was sold.
But all these dreams I have are constantly out of reach my friends said
and that all these thoughts are foolish schemes filling up my stupid head.
However, I think I’ve been true to everyone with the exception of you and me
and the way I feel causes me great pain and makes my heart long to be free.
Every time I look upon your beauty I am suddenly made aware,
that the woman I am fated to spend eternity with has constantly been there.

I remember the day I looked upon your intricately smiling face;
that day I was captured by a beauty my mind was unable to erase.
Such a moment of grand magnificence played out exactly like a scene,
one that had been captured directly from the silver screen.
It was such a shame then, as it is right now, that my heart I cannot trust,
for you, the world’s most beautiful young woman – I have an incredible crush.
I repeat these thoughts to myself almost every single day
and in the end I just don’t know how to quit feeling this way.
For I have constantly and will forever allow my love to play me the fool;
I follow society’s guide book on love, never breaking any of their rules.
For this I’m constantly filled with regret, whilst lost for what to do,
the simple truth is I’m never going to be good enough for you.

MY VALENTINE

SYNOPSIS: My interpretation of a Valentine’s Day poem.

I believe I have to say what I need to say,
and all I need to do so is a good old fashioned rhyme.
Before meeting you, as far as I was concerned the world could still be flat instead of round,
however, upon saying hello, you had me, in your vice like grip.
Addendum; I don’t wish to frighten you away,
for what I have been looking for has been you this entire time.
I am just so glad that the one true love of my life I have now found,
and, like a puppy, I follow you everywhere, attached to your hip.

I wish upon a falling star that all my fantasies come true;
this dream of ours that we’ve been living I could not forget,
for it will always remain inside me, like my mind, my lungs, my heart – forever.
If this ain’t at all enough, I think about you all the time,
for I only wish to spend the rest of my existence with you.
Moreover, I clearly remember the day we first met,
where it felt as though the universe only existed to bring us together.
That feeling today is just as strong; it is just as sublime.

There is so much I wish to tell you, because on Valentine’s Day you speak the truth to the one you love.
My heart will never belong to anyone else; I am forever and always yours;
you are the only woman in the entire universe I crave,
and when with you, I experience a truly endless fantasy.
This is the truth I say; I swear it on my mother, on my father, on the God’s in Heaven above,
and my love for you, it is comparative to a storm, but it don’t rain, no, it pours,
and the rain, it is so continuous, it becomes a tidal wave;
my beautiful lady, I am afraid you are beachside property.

I do not ever wish for you to be as foolish as I,
for all of my generalisations on love; the each of them came undone,
the moment I was captured by your beauty as I marveled at your intellect, which is all so blissfully pleasing,
because you will do to ride the river with.
I do not exaggerate this, but without you I will die,
cuz I have fallen for the woman whose radiance is equal to the sun.
You constantly create butterflies within my stomach; you make it hard to breathe, and you always leave my heart racing,
and if you’re the sword, then I’ll be your blacksmith.

You were as Heavenly as an angel, as beautiful as a sunset and as sweet as a rainbow,
and to this day and the days to come you still are, as I long and behold
an incredible exotic paradise of unrivalled beauty, comprised with genuine perfection,
that has swept me off my feet and stolen my breath away; there ain’t nothing I regret.
You gave a heart to this tin man, provided courage to this lion and breathed life into this scarecrow.
I won’t allow the story of my love for you to ever go untold,
my love is the answer to your need for romance, the answer to your frequently contemplated question.
My heart is like a rifle; I have it cocked, loaded, and aiming at you; my target.

No, I don’t need a doctor, all I need is your affection,
you are as steamy as volcanic lava, as hot as a burnin’ bush,
and it is I, who is able to enjoy the glory,
for it is in your arms that I have finally discovered myself.
I wish to own your heart, and to always have your attention,
because I love everything about you, from your gorgeous face to your tosh.
Together, we can now write our very own love story
and you can have my love, which is comparative to all this world’s wealth.

I am usually quite confident, elegant and cool.
Never have I played the part of the tragically, hopeless romantic.
And now, may I confess to you, without hope nor agenda,
that whenever you are in need of me, I will gladly put in the time,
and although I have been turned into love’s all seeing fool,
and although what I’m about to say may sound terribly dramatic,
I will always be your only prince, and your heart’s defender,
even if you were to commit an atrocity or many an awful crime.

I will always love you until this beating heart of mine gives out.
I need no evidence to support me, I need no proof;
believing me to be a liar is out of the question,
for I know I are eternally yours, just as you are mine.
I will gladly talk out my feelings, or if you want, I can shout;
I am not afraid to do so, because I speak the truth.
Now, with your permission, may I offer you a confession;
today I will show my true feelings for you, my Valentine.

When we went to our first nightclub, I stood there dumbfounded and in a trance,
the first time I saw your body moving upon the disco floor.
Please forgive me for this question, but do you love me? I apologise for this question, but I feel the need to ask,
because without you I would have been lost, and I would never have been found,
for it is only with you that I have discovered a whirlwind romance.
The taste of your delicious lips leaves me hungry for love and more,
and if your love was a deliciously moist and thirst quenching liquid, I would only too gladly drink from its flask
cuz I ain’t nearly quite my usual self, whenever you are not around.

You may not think you have much, but what you do have, you certainly have a lot,
for it is only you, and only you alone, who has broken through all of my defences.
Hypothetically, if your love was a dish, it would be dessert following an exquisite meal;
if your love was corporeal, I would take it and never let it go, and its hand I would always hold;
and if you’re an angel, you are most certainly Cupid, for I’ve just been shot.
When I realised I loved you it happened; I officially woke up and came to my sensors,
unable to fathom the relationship I had discovered because it is just so surreal,
in which your love is comparative to emeralds, diamonds, bronze, silver, and not to mention; solid gold.

These words I produce seem ludicrous, but they are not a fantasy;
I need not hear the words you’re saying, for I know they’ll be divine.
You may find it difficult to accept these words as the almighty truth,
but the acceptance of this moreover, is the only way to be whole.
I know the sun is yellow, just as I know you are in love with me,
cuz I know your destiny lies in synchronicity with mine.
My want to never be leaving you constitutes my everlasting proof;
sometimes you need to trust someone to feel the touch of a loving soul.

I do not believe this is love I feel for you, I think it is something more,
they say blood is thicker than water, but my love is thicker still.
For my heart, it is a crate of dynamite, and without you it won’t ignite,
because this love, it is the storm after the calm,
and my feelings, they break every rule in regards to love, they break every law.
For you I will die, I will live, I will fight, I will kill – I will,
because in contrast to every other woman, you are a fabulous sight;
I’m obsessed with you, but its cause for no alarm.

I love all the things you say, the richness of your intellect. I love the way you giggle, guffaw and laugh,
and I most certainly enjoy, as I always have, your incredibly pleasing voice.
You needn’t worry about me deceiving you, cuz my word, I can keep,
for you are the woman of my dreams, the woman who captivates me so it seems,
and every waking moment I spend with you I wish to seal and keep forever inside a photograph.
Loving you, as always, is certainly not a chore, it was and still is my choice,
and it don’t matter if you happen to be wide awake or fast asleep,
because if there suddenly was a war tomorrow, I would want you on my team.

I will catch you every time you begin to fall,
cuz without you in my life, who could I ever love, and what could I ever do,
because without you, this life I live, it just ain’t worth living.
I need you in this life of mine, because I know you like the back of my hand;
when with you, I ain’t scared of anything at all,
however, the one thought that terrifies me the most, is the fear of losing you.
I should not fear this, cuz of all the love I have been giving,
and I hope and pray you never leave me and that these feelings you understand.

My heart was once wild and unforgiving, but with you it is so calm.
I would do anything to keep this feeling, would go to any length,
because never have I felt such pain than when we are apart.
I know you believe I’m indestructible, but without you I certainly am not;
you are the one thing, the one person, my one love, who keeps me from harm;
the one person who gives to me unfathomably, unlimited strength.
But this strength, it wanes and dies, when the two of us are apart.
If I lost my memory, you, your face and your love would never, ever be forgot.

Out of all the voices in the world, it is yours I always long to hear,
cuz even when I am down, you always make me feel so much better.
I admit, I have become infatuated; you are my one obsession.
This I will express to you tonight, whilst we enjoy some wine,
and, like that, I can’t wait to spend with you another thousand billion years.
I remember all that you said to me; I kept all of your love letters.
This is one of two things I have to say, for I have another confession;
today, I will show my true feelings for you, my Valentine.

After I first saw you, I did something I ain’t proud to admit to yer, and it made me go blind,
and there was not but a single thing in this great wide world that I could see until I saw you again,
because it is only in your eyes that I am alive, it is only in your eyes that I’m whole,
and when you are not around, I am no longer myself anymore.
Every waking moment I spend with you is so fantastic, every waking moment I wish to rewind
so I can experience it again. I need you as my lover, cuz I could never be just friends,
because you get to me on every level; you get to my every place, you get inside my soul,
and in those moments, like a bird through the clouds, I believe I can soar.

It is said that one should always greet the morning, but without you, what is there to greet?
For me, the distance – it just ain’t no good, for we should always be in close proximity.
When without you, such an experience is so awfully hard to swallow,
surrounded by heinous torment and grievous, romanticised bruises and scars.
Wherever you may go or wherever you may be, please, my darling, save me a seat,
 for we should always stay together, ain’t that the truth, because we are our own destinies.
Without you, my body, it’s vacant; it feels so empty, it feels so hollow,
and this feeling continues whenever I am millions of miles from where you are.

The romanticised beast inside me comes out, when the moon and the stars fill up the sky.
I become a violent predator on the prowl for you, and you should have heeded your friends’ warnings when they said to you ‘beware.’
But even with this said, I know you love me; you may not be able to convey it verbally, but it is written in your bedroom eyes,
not to mention that wondrous smile of yours that could light up this whole city,
and neither compliment I can assure you my darling is a fabricated lie,
for no matter where you are, whether it’s at your parents, in a tree, or having the worst day of your life; I wish to be there,
because your eyes, they stare right through me with their physically ravishing properties, and if they could talk, they would surely say to me ‘surprise.’
Dear God my luscious lady love, you are so unbelievably pretty.

I will build you a palace with my two strong hands,
and I’ll build us a church for the two of us to get married in.
Let’s invite everyone to the wedding, from our BFF’s to our mothers,
and at the same time, I will stitch you up a brilliant white dress.
When you’re drunk and disorderly, I’ll help you stand,
and after we get married, then the titillation can begin,
for I can say without a doubt, that I’ve never felt this way for no other,
my ever loving, ever beautiful, angelic temptress.

Your love is comparative to Godzilla; it is a terrifying huge and amazing creature,
whilst I am but millions of screaming Japanese, running for their lives.
Like the weather, you continuously change my environment cuz you are a force of nature, you are a hurricane,
but instead of normal droplets in a storm, these droplets are chubby, for they contain your love; yes, your love is in the rain.
In contrast to the rest of you, my love, your heart is quite possibly your single most fabulous feature,
and if I was a working bee, you would be the Queen of my heart’s hive.
For I would follow you anywhere, whether it be to Japan, Canada, New York, Africa, Mexico or Spain,
and when I am but a broken man, you are the most fabulous, no, scratch that; you are truly the only cure to my pain.

If I should die before I wake, I give to you, and only you my soul to take.
You may not know why I say this, and you may not believe me when I say you are perfect,
but you are the definition of such a word,
and when you waltz into a room, all the men look to me with jealousy, unable to look away.
Some may not bet on our relationship, but I’d bet on us, cuz I know the stakes.
When it comes to the building of love, romance and relationships, we are their architect,
and although I realise such may sound absurd,
I know that I love you because I have to express it to you physically cuz there’s nothing left to say.

If my heart was a reality program, I’d gladly have you as its host,
and if you are comparative to alcohol, then I admit, I am officially intoxicated
because I wish to always have you in my life, in a relationship that is successful.
You are my personal demon, my guardian angel, my ever delightful curse;
it is you and only ever you who I cherish, adore and love the most.
I sit here and hope, and  pray too, that this confession of love I have granted you don’t sound spasticated,
because I really, truly, madly, unfathomably love you, cuz you are so wonderful.
Your untainted beauty is the exclamation point at the end of this very verse.

On the days when I was weak, you made me feel so strong,
and, no matter the cost, I will gladly pay the price.
Unless it is something, or someone, I do not wish to part with, cuz that I was not suggestin’,
because you I could never lose, cuz you’re totally divine,
and it’s only in your arms I’ve found where I belong.
This feeling, it’s superb; one I could never sacrifice,
but these words I have said, are not all I have to say my love, for I have another confession;
today I will show my true feelings for you, my Valentine.

Love is the only emotion in this relationship of ours, there is no such thing as hate.
This romance the two of us share together, it is an incredible journey, it is a fantastical trip,
for if you laugh, I’ll laugh beside you, and if you cry I’ll dry your tears,
and I will be faithfully yours, forever and always, that is the truth I swear.
When our souls are gone from this Earth, they will write stories of our love, and how we were joined by fate.
I have not sinned in regards to love, and unlike so many others, when I get to Heaven, I won’t get the whip.
I could never hurt you, for when I see you, my pain, it disappears,
and in the end my everything will be everywhere, and nothing will be nowhere.

I can’t believe you’re a part of humanity, a member of mankind
because you are just so wonderful; perfect; beautiful; like an unidentified alien,
and all those other men, ‘em lovebirds, they’re equally as cool as I, if not more so,
but would any of them ever write a poem for you?
Without you I am lost; I am trapped in a world where I have lost my mind,
for you are my unwavering source of support, inspiration, enjoyment and motivation.
If I was a car, I would constantly be in park without you and I’d never go,
so, if you are not here beside me, what am I to do?

I love you more than Jesus, more than any other God; your words are my bible,
for what we have is as equally special as the vows of Moses.
I guess what I am attempting to say my love, is ‘I love you ma’am’,
and there is no limit to what endeavors I will dare to accomplish to touch you and your body; to feel your flesh on mine and to kiss those luscious lips of yours,
because without you in my arms tonight, I cannot guarantee my survival.
If I could, I would provide to you an infinite field of roses,
for if my love were weighed, it would register in tones, not kilograms.
Not a thing on this Earth moreover, will stop me from having you. I will knock out every person; I will crash through every barricade; I will break down every door.

Without you, my life, it is officially over;
I’m nothing more than a lifeless, living cadaver.
We are never as good as we are when we’re together,
and just like I know that you’re my best friend,
I know I would step over my very own mother,
waltz through a volcanic river of molten lava,
and climb my way to the top of the tallest sky scraper,
if it meant I could see you once again.

Out of all the women I have ever known, only one of them has ever got inside my head.
You know this one is you, owner of my heart, for if I’m a Montague, you’re my Capulet, and if I am Shakespeare’s Romeo, then you are my Juliet,
because, like those star-crossed lovers, I am infected by your unfathomably, unimaginable beauty.
I needn’t explain myself, nor the words that I possess. I needn’t admit my feelings, or how you’ve captivated me in an untainted fantasy,
but I guess I just did. Where we experience love, other’s experience something else instead;
they are caught up in a nightmare from the imagination of the Brothers Grimm. Safe to say, I am happy enough to admit I don’t have not one regret.
However; there is a pain I feel; it comes from being away from you, which is worse than intolerable cruelty.
I admit, your name ain’t Queen Elizabeth, Cleopatra or Joan of Arc. No; you’re a new generation of amazing, and your name is Pure Beauty.

With you I am John Keats, William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great. I am passionate, I am loved, I am finally complete.
And often I find myself caught up in my own thoughts and pondering with endless wonder;
what did you think when you saw me for the very first time?
I know what I thought; I thought you were sublime, an angel; something from a fairytale.
Like the towering pyramids, a huge metropolis, the Heavenly realm of Paradise and Kelly’s ‘Cow in a Tree’, you are an amazing feat.
You are indescribably intoxicating, and can strike me down like cosmic thunder.
Often I try to describe you with that so perfect rhyme,
but you are too amazingly perfect, and I can’t, so I inevitably fail.

When you love someone, you are supposed to let them go, or so I’ve been told,
and if they come back to you, as faithful as ever, that it’s truly meant to be.
I usually don’t believe in fables, or in romanticised fairytales,
for I know that the love we share, that the relationship we have, has potential,
because from the moment I laid my eyes on you I knew my heart was sold.
I don’t have to say no more, but I believe and I know that I have to decree
that the love, especially the true romance we share together never fails
because you, your love, and everything you have to offer me, is quintessential.

Like all the best things, you should be made illegal,
cuz even when I feel so bad, you make even the worst thing feel so right.
However, I should accept the blame, for my compass pointed me in your direction,
and like a fantastical angel, you always look so fine,
and, like a drug, without you life’s unbearable.
You are like my cancer, but besides that, in the darkness you are my light,
but this here ain’t all I have to say, for I have for you, yet another confession;
today, I will show my true feelings for you, my Valentine.