It has been a while since I was blessed with an award, but this dry spell has officially ended. Recently, the quirkiest quirky girl ever (whose blog can be found at the following link: http://diaryofaquirkygirl.wordpress.com/) nominated me for the One Lovely Blog Award! Thank you Ma’am!
Now, apparently I am supposed to link to my nominator’s blog (check), show the award on my blog (check), nominate fifteen other bloggers (on my to do list), and additionally, I am meant to share seven riveting facts about myself…Well, in that case, sit back, and prepare to have your minds blown (not really).
Super Amazing Fact 1: I am quite the Anime fan, my favorites been Ghost in the Shell (I have a massive crush on the Major) (also, I recently pre-ordered Arise) and Appleseed (which I have the entire collection of, including the original 1989 version, the movie adaptions of the TV series, and the recent addition, Alpha). I also quite enjoy Patlabor, the Aquarion series, STR.A.IN, Star Wars Clone Wars, Shangri-La, and the animated adaptions of video games, including Halo Legends, Mass Effect Paragon Lost, Dead Space Downfall and Aftermath, and Dragon Age Dawn of the Seeker. I believe I enjoy animated features and shows because often many of the lead protagonists are comprised of very powerful female characters, who are not only capable of kicking ass, but are realistically portrayed.
On a side note, I also enjoy Red vs. Blue, and have the ten years of Red vs. Blue box set.
Super Amazing Fact 2: Presently, I am in my final semester of my Postgraduate Masters course. Part of me will be glad when this is officially over because the 15,000 word thesis is kicking me in places I don’t like being kicked. What I find most annoying, is that every time I speak with my adviser, there are brand new criticisms he wishes to bring to my attention; criticisms that were non-existent the last time, and so I need to take these into account and make further amendments. For instance, one week he would say how a paragraph is great, and the next time, that same unedited paragraph, is suddenly not worth keeping. I mean, come on Doc! Make up your mind already!
However, I am unsure where I wish to go from here; should I (if I have the required grades) go on to do my doctorate (which would assist me in becoming a tutor at university), or should I do a Master of Teaching (which would grant me the ability to teach at secondary schools)?
Super Amazing Fact 3: I recently changed internet providers. I have been using Optus for, well, years actually, and I have been impressed with the service thus far (on most occasions), however the 15 gigabyte a month plan I had was beginning to feel restrictive, and now I have access to unlimited internet for a cheaper price. This has especially come in handy with my copy of Destiny on Xbox One (at present I’m a level 24 Blade Dancer) . On that note, are there any bloggers online (who I happen to know) that play Destiny? When it comes to temporarily teaming up with random strangers, it might actually be nice to have some kind of history with the players.
Super Amazing Fact 4: When it comes to movies, I don’t have a particular genre preference – I will often try anything if it looks even moderately appealing. When it comes to reading on the other hand, I can very rarely stand contemporary fiction, especially the Australian variety, where often life in the country seems to be a major theme, which does nothing to impress me in the slightest. When writing my own material however, especially prose or novels, I have a tendency to enjoy developing science fiction oriented pieces, which is a problem in Australia when it comes to looking for a publisher. Although magazines like Aurealis accept submissions of speculative fiction, larger publishers rarely do, with many of the literary agents and/or publishers that ever did accept such work either going out of business, or since adjusting their preferences regarding the type of work they choose to endorse/publish.
Super Amazing Fact 5: I have an avid fascination with jewellery. Apart from a watch, I almost always have at least two other wrist bands on (one of which is my medic alert bracelet – wouldn’t want to forget that), and on top of this, I never leave home without a necklace. I have pierced ears, with two rings in my left and one in my right, which I often swap. On occasions when I go out (for instance, next week I’ll be attending a poetry reading in the city), I wear much larger designs, two of which are these massive skulls with bright red eyes.
Super Amazing Fact 6: I don’t have many male friends; most of my friends happen to be gals. Most guys I know outside of the net talk either about cars (the only time I care about cars is when the one I’m in stops working) or AFL (which I used to enjoy, and I even played football on occasion (not professionally of course), but, kicking an oddly shaped red ball from one side of the field to the next just doesn’t really do it for me). The reason I mention this, is because I have in the past become attracted to some of my friends; in fact, my last girlfriend was actually a best friend of mine. Obviously men and women can be friends, this is a proven fact, however for me, sometimes I think that perhaps a man wakes up one day and realizes the young lady he has been searching for has been beside him all along. I guess the point I’m making is that if you’re a young woman who happens to be a friend of mine, one day (unless you’re married), I might just happen to fall in love with you. You have been warned!
Super Amazing Fact 7: None of these super amazing facts have been really super amazing, and even I am thoroughly disappointed by that.
After the reveal of these super amazing facts, my mission goal is to nominate 15 other people. Okay then, without further ado (cliche’ I know), allow me to say – I have no intention of nominating anyone. I literally follow hundreds of people on WordPress! Am I really expected to pick 15 bloggers? What about the other few hundred lovely blogs that I don’t nominate? So, allow me to say, if you have a lovely blog and you happen to read this text, if you want the One Lovely Blog Award, it is yours! I don’t want to miss out on nominating someone who deserved the award, and I am certain if you are reading this, you are as deserving of it as anyone else.
Thank you for stopping by guys! And thank you again to the Quirky Girl for this nomination. Have a great day!
The sun sets on the knowledge
of how I am not destined to be
granted much extraordinaire
in the life I call my own, the
destined conclusion writ
upon a pale night sky,
serenading me with a sweet
prose of bitter sadness on
how an artist of impeccable
talent I am not to portray, the
whimsical figure of my despair
becoming my truly agonising
I was born to be kissed by your lips;
to place my hands upon the
curvature of your center and feel
my way towards your back. I was
born to have my heart of
palpitating energy groomed by
your beating passion; to have
feelings of such extreme intensity,
I could not live without. I was
born to be seduced by the scent of
your ravishing fragrances and
perfumes; to admire your shapely
figure and feel nothing less than
exponential longing to have your
flesh attached to mine, like a tattoo
of unwavering flawlessness. I was
born to nibble my way down your
back and pluck every portion of
your front with my tongue of
tantalising enjoyment; to pleasure
everything of yours once the moon
is stretched towards its pinnacle. I
was born only to love thee, to hold
you close at night; to feel the rise
and fall of your chest against mine,
and the warmth of your internal
magic. I was born to marry you, to
see you walk on down the aisle,
and to sign the vowel of your
heart’s ownership forevermore. I
was born to be with you, and such
is my destiny, and even if you do
not notice me today, I know fate
will shine upon our lives in a
future not far from now, for much
like poetry, my love does not
conform, nor does it follow rules,
breaking all of them as it screams
for those once silenced in their
When I was young; when
I was a novice of the
written word, I asked
an adept manufacturer
of creation how it was
that she could articulate
a poem; and she said to
me, in happiness, ‘just
write what it is you feel.’
But what if I have no
feelings? What if no one
wants to know the feelings
in my heart? What if the
woman I am attempting
to woo with much
affection cares not for
my avid love, for that
right there, that four
letter word, is what I feel
right now; but how to
get the beating heart of
my wishful paramour to
arrange a time to hear
me out this day? I cannot,
that is the answer, and I
never will, the irony of
this occasion being
blinding to the senses. I
became a poet to express
that which I could not
any other way, and even
then after so much time
had passed and I had
tried my hardest to
succeed, I was a failure
in my maiden’s eyes of
cruelty. She could not
feel a thing for me, and
never was there an
attempt to spare my
heart which beat for her
so eagerly every time I
breathed, and without
her in my life this night,
what more is there to
say? How can I express
my sadness to an
audience not within my
proximity; an audience
who shall never hear my
voice or even know my
name? I have my words
to give to you, but shall
they ever be enough,
for never could they
captivate the darling I
was hoping to ensnare.
You may also have my
tears as they dribble
forth from my eyes
before being plucked
by the parchment I am
using as the conveyance
for my thoughts. But
never shall anyone again
have my heart, for that
desolate muscle of
passionate throes is
now officially obsolete; it
has crumbled into
nothingness and left me
bereft with an eternally
empty wound that
shall never heal; for if
my destined lover
could not accept me,
I do believe it is obvious
that no one ever will.
I was told ‘I love you’ once,
but now those days
are just an echo in my mind,
for never shall these words
of three, pass over the tongue
and through the moist lips
of another potential paramour
again. In a vain attempt
to avoid the pain that comes
with heartache, I find myself
blessed that I can become
like a robot on occasion,
and walk stiffly like a cyborg
would, rather than move
fluidly like a human,
for if I walk like the majority
of this planet’s population
society will be disgusted.
Never have I been real good
at acting like a human, and
the people I come in contact
with can effortlessly see through
my masquerade, and although
I hate the fact that after
all this trouble, I still feel the dark
emotions of a traumatised
soul flourishing through
my senses, I know not
how to conclude such a feeling.
Unlike a watch in dire need
of repair, with parts that can be
easily switched out for new
features, I cannot be mended,
and shall instead remain forever
broken indefinitely. I cannot foresee
a potential future where
I am destined to be loved
by anyone; on the contrary,
I have been witness to the potential
future, and it is of no surprise.
When the end does come,
and its fruition is unstoppable,
I’ll find myself dying
alone and afraid in the corner
of a rundown establishment,
because such is all I am deserving.
If by some miracle I was to be
reunited with romance once more,
suddenly and without expectation
I would proclaim to the woman
I have fallen for ‘you have saved
my life!’ and she would jump
several feet towards
the stratosphere, yet manage
to retain her usual glare
all the same. But love,
although been strong in feeling
is never really quite enough,
and I would believe
the sensation traveling
across my major senses
to be nothing more
than a facade, and upon reaching
this conclusion, whether
or not it carried the weight
of truthful logic, I will push
my lover away until they leave,
for my destiny will then prevail
and I shall be left alone
again, as I inevitably always will.
If love is a battlefield,
then I have been caught
in a war torn country,
with regret as my companion.
I had a chance to find
happiness, and I had another
not too long ago,
and yet I still have hopes
that the one I truly love
will see for who I am
and say ‘I want you,
I love you, I have been
waiting tirelessly for you
my whole life; marry me,
would you, you are all
I have been searching for,
and together we shall
never be apart no more.
Let loneliness be abandoned
in these arms of mine
as you hold me to your heart
so I may hear the beat
that I inspired,
for without me you are flotsam,
and without you I am
not myself, but combined
we are everything we need
to see this journey through,
and never shall we be without
the other.’ But this is but
a dream, and dreams, they
do not come true except
in fairy tales, which this
is not, because the gloom
of this here world
lingers upon my shoulders.
Many live for love, so
I doubt it could be
surprising if one were to die
for such an emotion too.
When an unknown man
walks in with a shotgun,
I gladly throw my arms out,
outstretched at my side
as though I am to be crucified,
and I cry for him to slay me,
but no, he shoots himself
instead. It seems that love
has claimed yet another victim,
and it be ironic that an emotion
of such happiness is responsible
for so much death.
There is barely enough left
to describe the stranger
that lies upon the ground;
one second he was alive,
the next he was no longer,
and has become yet
another faceless man in a crowd
of aching hearts, and no matter
how hard I screamed, never
would he have pulled
the trigger with the barrells
aimed down at me.
I want death so badly,
but I do not want to commit
the act myself no more,
for I am terrified my heart
will cramp up and my body
will stutter, and that will
be the start of yet another
colossal failure. The only
way to guarantee success
is at the hand of another;
but what hand would happily
do what I feel must be done?
But maybe I am scared
of death, and have mistaken
cowardice for absolution,
and if this be the case
I needn’t live with such ignorance,
so please, someone smarter
than I notify me,
so I may die with my intellect
intact before I reach my end.
A piece of poetry about a life unfinished, a death that came too soon, and a love that was not accomplished
On the day that I do die, there is something that I would have planned to say
when I arrive in front of Saint Peter sometime on the following day.
He would probe me with many varieties of questions about my life thus far; questions I would have to answer,
as to ascertain that I was not a danger to Heaven, and so would not spread through paradise like a cancer.
I do not know if I would provide to the man the answers that he did seek,
but the words I would say would come from my heart when I eventually did speak;
I lost one woman because I loved and cherished and cared for her too much,
and the last thing I ever felt was when our lips did passionately touch.
I lost the second woman I adored because I did not love her enough,
and on the day we left each other, my heart felt so barren, broken and rough.
The third and final woman that I loved could not allow a relationship to be,
and the day I died I was in love with a woman who could never truly love me.
I do not know if she felt anything for me; joy, anger, sadness, remorse, the day that I did die,
all that is for certain, is that until that day, I never realised a young woman could make you cry.
An ocean of endless tears constantly fell across my face as I frequently wept,
whilst at the same time, the one woman of my dreams, she happily partied, drank and slept.
I do not know if she did hate me, or if I happened to cause her absolute disgust,
but always I did believe in my heart, who said she was the one, so my heart I did trust.
I read once that we choose who to love, for love is but a chemical, and we give such a powerfully romantic emotion meaning by choice,
but in this circumstance it was not my decision to love her; I simply fell for her beauty, her intellect, her professionalism, her voice.
From the moment I first laid eyes on her, she was undeniably and constantly in my thoughts,
for if there was such a thing as the web of love, in hers, like a fly, I had been officially caught.
However, I do not know if she was capable of romance, or if she was focused solely on her career,
and even though I am now officially dead and gone from the world, this is the one thing I still frequently fear,
for even though I can no longer be hers, I still wish for her to experience and feel true love,
and from now until she eventually finds ‘the one’ I will always look down on her from up above.
She believes that upon meeting the man of her dreams, the both of them shall fall in love immediately,
and I do suppose that I am, to this day grievously disappointed, that such a man could not be me.
Maybe when I was alive, I was simply not destined to be the man to give to her a life of romance,
but now that I do think about it, never in life did she provide to me one single, miserable chance.
When the sun did set, she would go with her friends to bars and clubs in an attempt to ‘reel in’ Mr. Right,
whilst I was willing to give her absolutely everything she ever wanted, every day and night,
and if I could not provide all that she had wanted, then I would have done my very best
to give to her a life that at night would allow her to sleep soundly and happily rest.
However, on no occasion did I see a line of men queuing up in the hope of being forever hers,
for only I had shown such interest, so why could she not be with me – why could she not be with this young sir?
Perhaps if she had been able to love me, in fact, I am certain of it, my heart would not have committed suicide and I would not be dead,
but, even if this be the truth, I will only ever love this one ravishing, gorgeous young woman, I will never love anyone else instead.
SYNOPSIS: After reading some of the information spread across the twitter verse in regards to the interpretative astrological information for Scorpio’s the likes of myself and many millions of others, I thought it a good idea to take some of that information and some of my own and create a better image of the Scorpio people. I mean, frequently those who are born under such a sign in the stars are seen as individuals who are mean and potentially harmful. However, the information I have been able to recently gander, and my own personal beliefs defy this stereotypical notion and I feel they need to be subjected aloud.
I have this particular star sign
and some days I wish it wasn’t mine
and sometimes I feel it’s the one thing keeping me from you.
Some think Scorpio’s are monsters, I know you think this too,
but even though I’m meant to be more monster than man,
that don’t mean I won’t love you, in fact I know I can,
and I will. All I need is an opportunity,
to be granted the pleasure of having you love me
and to feel my body wrapped in those warm arms of yours.
Maybe this ain’t right, perhaps astrology has laws
about what can and cannot come to pass
but just because I ain’t part of your class
don’t ever mean for a second that we don’t belong
together, cuz my feelings for you are just so strong,
and never have I felt this way before.
I may have loved once, but I love you more,
and nothing is going to stop me from holding you
for the rest of time. It’s one thing I wanna do,
it’s one thing I long to accomplish
because you’re the only girl I wish
to be mine. Sometimes I lust for this to be real,
to ensure you know exactly how I feel
because then and only then will you react.
I will love you forever and that’s a fact.
I may have armour coating my entire body
but if we don’t get together you will be sorry
for I have a heart of gold beneath this armoured cuirass,
young lady, tell me, are you not at all one bit curious
to discover how much of this heart is yours?
I can tell you now, my heart, it has no flaw,
I mean, it has after all chosen you to be my one and only
and it can’t be so bad, if like me, it dreams of such a fantasy,
for that is what you are, forever and always,
until I eventually reach my end of days.
Furthermore, I may also have a massive sting in my tail,
but that don’t mean I will ever hurt you, my precious female,
nor will I ever maliciously sting you with my poison gland,
for you have already stung mine, and now my heart can’t take a stand.
You ma’am ain’t even a scorpion,
and yet your beauty is your poison,
and let me tell you now, you are absolutely beautiful
in everything you do, yes, you are just so wonderful,
and I cannot release you from my mind.
Young lady, you are all I long to find
to make me alive and whole for once in my life,
so don’t be scared when I ask you to be my wife.
I have these pinchers as to pinch
you, so you needn’t ever flinch
when I grab a hold of your body
and sing to you a sweet melody
about the way I feel inside
about you. Cuz you give me pride
when I feel so low and useless,
and when I’m feeling pretentious,
you’re the first person to tell me
to start acting more naturally
else I will get way ahead of myself.
When hurt you’re the first to ask ‘bout my health,
you’re the first to help me when I bleed,
and care for me in my time of need,
and when I don’t feel like I should,
you are the one person who would
make me feel so much better
than I honestly ever
could. You are vital to my survival,
so don’t ever believe you’re trivial
cuz you’re the best part of this life of mine.
You are truly dazzling and divine,
you are in my heart, my mind and my soul,
you are what makes this flesh and blood man whole.
I will always love you,
nothing could be more true,
and never shall you be denied a single drop of love
I have inside of me, I swear on the Heavens above.
SYNPOPSIS: A piece about the incredibly powerful emotions a man feels for no woman in particular, and the confession that is to be supplied to this fortunate, or rather unfortunate as the case may be, woman.
There is a thin blue mist slowly drifting over this incorruptibly fair city,
which is settling in after the departure of the rainbow which was so pretty.
There is a faint pool of dried blood located down on the east highway,
relinquished from the body of the young lover who died yesterday;
yet another casualty of love that is constantly under restoration,
whose parents are forced to endure a powerful, emotional explanation.
This young man never told the woman that he loved how he felt in his heart
and instead of bringing two people together it has torn them apart.
I do not ever in this life of mine want this unfortunate event to happen to me,
which is why I write this poem for you; to the woman of unimaginable beauty.
I must warn you however that I am a weary and untalented poet,
who will never be as great as Shakespeare and his irresistible love sonnets.
Nevertheless, if I could find the words to describe the beauty of your face,
what a talented romantic I would be within the so called ‘human race.’
Whenever I lay eyes on you a chill rushes through me that penetrates right down to the bone,
I have decided that from this moment on I do not wish to spend this life of mine alone.
For deep within this body of mine I feel such incredibly strong feelings for you inside.
I write this poem to avoid confessing to you my strong feelings, a task I have not tried.
My dreams may seem ludicrous and these words I use may seem completely deranged,
I only hope that in the very near future my luck will begin to change.
My life first began the moment you said my name and I heard your amazing voice,
for me; an in-valid, to experience this, you made a sacrificial choice.
I wish that one brief moment we shared together I could eventually rewind
and admit to you my true feelings that are trapped within the confines of my mind.
Nevertheless, this could never take place, for I could never take your rejection,
wishing to instead be granted all of your love, grace, support and real affection.
I dream about you every night however, and I know I will do so again
because you are without a shadow of a doubt, my one and only piece of Heaven.
But wishes, they are all of them like dreams and they do not always occur
and in ten years time your memory of me will be no more than a blur.
They say the heart is the strongest muscle in all the body, but for me this cannot be true,
for if it were so I am certain I would have the heart to share all of my feelings with you.
You may ask why I’m infatuated with you; it is because you are different from the rest,
the same way, for lack of a better metaphor, denim dreams are different to a denim vest.
I may of course seem incredibly foolish, or perhaps even unfathomably stupid;
my excuse? I have been shot, by that mischievous little angel known as Cupid.
I would like to add, you are beautiful. No matter whether you’re covered in make-up or in a mess,
your hair, arms, legs and breasts, along with your vagina and clitoris; all of it, I wish to caress.
Of course, if you permit me, allow me to add I believe I love you very much.
Remember, you are never alone, your beautifully warm body I wish to touch.
I no longer in this life time want to keep my heart trapped within an internal cage.
In all honesty, I want to make sweet love to you, and have your body as my stage.
I wish to meet both of your parents, and confess to your father and mother,
that my dream is to always and forever be your one and only lover.
I wish to spend my life with you, not with all of the other billions of women.
I rehearse this line in my mind now as to repeat it in the future again.
I’ll continue to pour out my heart and soul and state ‘wherever you are, that’s where I’ll go.
Where that is exactly, whether it be now or in the distant future I do not know,
but wherever this specific location in time is, that’s where I’ll be,
for you will always continue to on every level ravish me.’
If I must be the author of my own destiny, I wish to write it with you,
for no woman could take your place and no one else in the world could ever make do.
In-between the two of us I feel a remarkably romantic connection,
that is fueled, controlled and inspired by my own immeasurably strong passion.
I wish however that I had the nerve to verbally convey these emotions when I speak,
which is why it pains me to realise that when around you my spirit becomes so weak.
Around you my tongue becomes so tied and twisted and my heart begins to flutter,
and all the words I wish to say to you fail to appear as I choke and stutter.
But in my heart I know I need to get over this for without you I am eternally blue
and all I wish to say is; ‘take those lips and place them on my own as I wrap my arms around you.’
There is no other life form in this universe I could ever appreciate more,
everything that makes you who you are today is without a doubt worth fighting for.
This would explain why I always dream of you being close to me; being just so near
on a day when the scorching sun is out and the skies are just so crystal clear.
On this day I would ask; ‘do you want and need me the way I want and need you; lover of whom I lust,’
and you would politely reply to me ‘young man, you have a huge heart, but honestly, what’s the rush?’
If I were to continue to speak and to persist with my words, I believe you would say, ‘boy, you talk a little too much.
I can understand your love and affection for me, but it’s obvious, you’ve been corrupted by an insatiable crush.’
But even such words could not hinder these feelings, for I truly love you without a doubt.
Unfortunately, I always will, for you are the one woman I cannot live without.
I no longer want to be a stranger, no; I want to eternally be yours.
If you were indeed a football team you would constantly receive a perfect score.
You have a blessed halo hovering above your head and a devil upon your shoulder.
If I did not enjoy such ravishing qualities I would not long to be your true lover.
This is not all that I want however, wishing to be with you through all the days of your life,
to have and to hold you for all eternity as the mother of my children and my wife.
With this said, may I continue to add, how can I live without you near?
Moreover, how can I truly live when that voice of yours I cannot hear?
Furthermore, at the conclusion of this verse, I wish for you to see me for who I am;
I may be a romantically challenged individual, but I am a loving man.
At the end of this poem I would like to conclude on a far more romantic note,
one which is far more ravishingly extraordinary than what I previously wrote.
With that said, I would like to state, you look more divine than divine, and more sexy than sumptuous,
I can say without a flickering shadow of a doubt that you are incredibly delicious.
Your eyes, they are like two diamonds, shining on a cool, mid summer’s night
filling up my hunger for romance constantly with endless delights.
Your lips moreover are the window to your soul; a place of never ending bliss,
which are opened so tentatively with the touch of my succulent, crimson kiss.
At long last however I can only hope you see such feelings as truthful rather than wrong,
for it is deep within the confines of your gracious heart that I eternally belong.