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Misfortune’s Fate

Alright world, here I am, now you may,
with my permission, surely do your worst,
for I have certainly just done the same,
with the enacting of a commitment
I could never do before. I had believed
I made myself, soul and all,
over the longevity of life, decisions
and consequences folding the existence
of my time here into a piece of worthiness.
However, since the moment
the sun rose behind the image of your face,
it was always the touch of beauty
in the movement of your life
that made me who I am,
and though you shall remain unforgotten,
that is the least you should be rewarded,
until the end of my tether, it is now that I must
move aside. Rather than admitting
the three words I could never say,
but felt, like blood beneath my veins,
allow me to instead replace this confession
with one that shall set you free;
I forget you;
and now, with this proclaimed testimony,
you may venture forth to love again
someone who will give all that you deserve,
for as misfortune has decided,
this fate, is not mine to enjoy.

Gold vs. Green/Pointing a gun to an Angel’s head

SYNOPSIS: A piece about losing love, only to find love again on the rebound, only to fall madly in love once more, only to lose that love again and only then learn and appreciate the true meaning of pain and suffering. Dear reader, I will admit, this piece may not always make a complete amount of sense.

Warning: This piece contains some coarse language and strong sexual references.

‘Better put on some mittens
and lock up your l’il kittens
cuz tonight it’s gonna get freezin’ cold.
Find that someone you’ve been wantin’ to hold
and never dare let them go.
Your emotions, let ‘em show,
as you stare into each other’s eyes.
The immense power to paralyze
is a truly powerful thing.’
Such words are really amazing,
such words are not mine. A friend I once knew
confessed this to me to confess to you,
as to forever have you as my one and only,
for you are, as you always have been, a fantasy
that I cannot times infinity live without.
This love affair is what this poem is about.

There’s a monkey in my lap
I think my ex has the clap,
and if that bitch is suggestin’
that I gave her the infection
then I have to proudly announce that she is sourly wrong,
for my wonderful equipment has been so clean all along.
For here I am, smiling with a white silk shirt,
all the while happy, playing in the grey dirt
looking for a new woman to occupy my active mind,
cuz memories of an old romance I don’t wish to rewind.
It was then that I saw you, like an angel on the other side of the river.
‘Give me a chance young lady, just one chance, and I will forever be your lover.’
However, you send more misinterpreted signals than a fuckin’
traffic light in the middle of the city that is beyond broken;
one day you’re bright red, one day you’re lime green and the next day you are but gold.
Just tell me, what are we doing? Do you even know? Are you hot or cold?

Driving down the motorway, two seconds from overload;
I do not know where I am, and who cares for the zip code,
for I’m driving in a beast that drinks gasoline
like I do cold beer; yeah, she’s a well oiled machine,
with a bitchin’ engine and well gassed wheels,
she’s a rusted down piece of chrome and steel.
She’s got herself a red finish with white racing stripes
which run straight down the centre, with gas blasting out the pipes
on the arse end of her sleek body which is brilliant if I dare say
on this not so glorious afternoon of a sunny Saturday.
This car of mine, she was designed for wet n wild fun,
and I sure as shit ain’t stoppin’ her on this dog run,
so to hell with the darn cops, if they wanna catch me,
they better be doin’ more than friggin’ one eighty
on this freeway as I burn rubber like I burn carbohydrates
whilst driving in an old dog with some friends of mine who can relate.

Riding shotgun is Alex, as foxy as can be,
and in the back rides Ryan and his girlfriend Natalie.
The two have been getting’ at it, both been getting’ busy
as we drive right through this always over crowded city
for driving around in a bad ass corvette
is likely to get any femme fatale wet.
Like me, this car, she glitters, but she ain’t nearly all gold,
if you’re playing cards with me honey I suggest you fold,
for I know you have a full house, but I’ve a royal flush,
and if you’ve met me, then you’ve certainly had your brush
with destiny, and I tell yer now like I tell yer then, I don’t wanna spoil
your surprise, cuz I’m like a shotgun baby, you have gotta watcha recoil
else you’re gonna get hurt, so I suggest we play it safe, even if we play it rough,
cuz I’m sure you know like me that a little safety is never quite safety enough
when it comes to internal security. So let’s be sure we’re both protected
cuz you don’t want what I got baby, you don’t wanna ever be love infected.

At night our combined voices create quite the crescendo,
I guess that’s the penalty of frequent innuendo,
and if it is, then I haven’t a problem with this.
Such no doubt always begins with a passionate kiss
as it always did, and before you know it we’re lying in bed.
The deed has been done, and I sigh and say ‘nothing like a good head
job’, and you smile and nod and agree.
Absolutely, undeniably,
for Jesus may have died for the sins of all humanity, but he didn’t die for mine,
and I don’t know if he realised I would find sex to be quite so elegant or divine
as to want it every night and day with you, forever and ever
and never would I give up on us, no I wouldn’t, I would never.
For it’s when you say ‘I’ve an itch under my scared flap of skin,
please, can you touch it, can you stroke it, can you really do it in?’
that I find you so utterly insatiable;
my feelings for you – they are undeniable.

‘I want to be with you’ I say with a smile upon my face
that no nefarious occurrence could ever dare erase,
for I am shirtless, sleeveless but not sexless within this life I’m livin’ in.
I do not like losin’ any fight, and when I find you I’ll call that a win.
To do so however, I will need a gift; a keen sense of direction,
but you needn’t fear for never have I failed a self-appointed mission.
‘Have you a map?’ you ask, ‘what map!’ I respond, ‘the journey is in my mind,
and I swear to you that sometime soon you will be the treasure I will find.’
For I know that I like sleeping
and that you yourself like sleeping,
so when I have you, why don’t we sleep together?
Please, I beg of you, do not use the word ‘never’
in a sentence, when you indeed answer my question.
So please, before you speak, listen to my confession;
‘I love you sweet lady (these words I say are fact I swear) and I always will
until this world of ours is dead and gone and time is forcibly standing still.

Perhaps I’ve been wrong this whole time; perhaps more is less, perhaps less is more,
cuz I’ve been yelling to get some good service, I’ve been yelling for the law
to come arrest the bastard who can’t seem to fetch me a bloody drink,
all I wanted was some decent ice cold beer with some chardonnay pink,
but I guess such was just too darn difficult for that dumb son of a bitch.
Which witch is which?
Which watch is right?
Which of these should I dare to truly trust on this darkened candle lit night?
Normally this time of evening, the wine
would be making you one hundred per cent mine
tonight. But on this specific occasion,
there was no such amazing legislation,
cuz it sucks when the one you love really hates you,
when the one woman who was your muse rejects you,
and now all I want is a bottle to drown away my sorrows
just so that I can survive to see the rise of a tomorrow.

‘I am one loony baboony in a cocoony’ I replied,
to the woman I called ‘mine’ who loved me once, the day my heart died.
‘Now there is no one else for you to turn to’
you said, ‘you have lost yourself deep within you.’
‘I’ve been broken, belittled; my heart’s been officially ripped out’
I cried, ‘tell me, what is all this concerning, what is this about?’
You shrugged your small shoulders. ‘Pretty soon you will be dead.
If only you had listened to what your mamma said.
Don’t you remember what she thrice said to you?
Guess you never had one decent, single clue,
or was it that your mind was filled with lead?
Many angels sacrificed their lives for you, many angels have fought and died,
but what was the point, for you’re about to commit emotional suicide.
If you continue on with this expedition,
in the bible there’s only one definition;
pointing a handgun to an angel’s head.’

I still remember the past, that is my curse,
cuz tonight it’s the end of my universe
and I really, truly, nearly am feelin’ fine
as I down a crystallised bottle of white wine
over the course of this very late night
before I get caught up in all the light
of love and life and imminent death,
cuz normally I would lose my breath
when you suddenly enter the room.
You’d play the wife, and I’d play the groom,
we were shitty actors but come the night we were better than ‘great’,
for we were together as promised by the designers of fate,
but now this life has changed and it ain’t the way it used to be
and now you can no longer bring yourself to stand next to me.
You have a week to pack your things and leave, then you can go nuts,
shouldn’t be too hard really cuz let’s face it – you hate my guts.

Never fall in love

SYNOPSIS: A piece that takes a negative look at the feeling that so many of us wish to endlessly treasure due to its adoringly heartfelt properties, yet possibly dangerous and heart wrenching consequences.

Sometimes the darkness is too much and I feel a little blue.
Do not shed a tear for me cuz I died when I first saw you
after I realised such a young beauty could never love a man like me
and just like that, you and I we came together and we crushed my fantasy
and we also crushed my still red beating heart
that now be but broken and falling apart
from the trauma that it hath terribly sustained –
I only wish that day a lover I had gained.

God, I wish a relationship had come to fruition.
Sometimes I do not even know why I bother livin’
a life that ain’t lovely or romantic
in a world that is so cold and plastic
where the faces of all the living peoples always look the same,
and those I truly love cannot even recognise my true name
because they are blinded by the beauty of other more handsome men.
If given the choice, I would not ever live this life of mine again.

Is it really living, if I frequently feel like death?
Am I really breathing if I am all run out of breath?
I feel like I have run several hundred thousand miles
due to my stubborn bleeding heart and the constant trials
that present themselves every single hour.
Tell me, am I but a man if I cower
away, for I have this fear of my heart been again broken.
‘I love you’ are the three little words I have not yet spoken.

Been in love is like banging your head against a brick wall.
Inevitably, everything you try to love will fall
down, like rain, and will forever disappear,
and those sweet three words I have so longed to hear
I will unfortunately never bear witness to once more
as I find my cold cadaver lying hapless on the floor
of Hell’s horrific barren wasteland for the hundredth time in one day.
Anyone who dreams of getting close to me, I urge you ‘stay away.’

No Death in Love

SYNOPSIS: My idea of a stereotypical break-up poem

Today could have been the day you found out you were pregnant and we began to start a family.
Today could have been the day I proposed, getting down on bended knee, asking you to marry me.
Today however is the day I sit back, alone again, and cry.
I stare drunkenly at the moon and toss insults at the falling stars,
the same falling stars I once wished upon that never truly brought me to you,
and even though I held you in my arms, you were never truly mine.
I could have been a million miles away because sitting next to you meant next to nothing.
I would ask if anything we experienced was true, but I’m afraid of the answer.
Was everything simply one great big lie, is that a tragic fact?
I should have realised your promises were too good to be true,
but I unfortunately had been struck down by love, and refused to see the signs.
When I told you my feelings, you didn’t believe me, and my heart lay down and died.
You had this picture perfect image of the perfect man that, like a tuxedo two sizes too small, I could not fit into.
When we first met, you were looking for Mr. Right, but instead you found me, and now it is a second too late; all our love is gone.
When in a relationship, you stressed you give it your all; your heart, mind, soul and body.
When I was younger I had delusions of grandeur, I wanted to be yours.
Since then, I have learnt a lot. I only wish I had been born with such knowledge
to avoid the unspeakable pain that now resides inside my head and heart.
I will admit, lessons have been leant, however, heart’s have been razed to the ground,
although I can only speak for myself because mine is all but dead and gone.
When we first met, I was so alive, free and passionate; I cannot believe who I once was. I cannot believe how much things have changed.
I am now an archipelago, lost and stranded in the crisp blue ocean, sending out an S.O.S to your heart,
for mine, it has been belittled, it has been broken, and it is no longer yours.
Last night I had myself a dream, one in which your loving heart came to rescue me,
but I knew from the beginning, although it was so beautiful,
it was rather unfortunately, happily never after.
When we were together I was hypnotised from a spell cast by your hand;
a man I had once been, but now a prisoner, one enslaved to your voice,
and whatever order you gave to me, I would have only too gladly executed.
You could have taken out a gun, pressed it to my temple, and asked me to pull the trigger,
and I would have obediently done so too, because I was not quite myself anymore.
I would have done anything you asked of me, but now I fear it’s too late to dwell on the past.
I read somewhere and ignorantly believed it too, a quote from a wise old woman,
who stated ever so positively and honestly, that there was no death in love.
For your crimes against the loving heart, warrants should be out for your arrest.
You need to be charged with the murder of love, and pain was your accomplice.
Every law enforcement officer, bounty hunter and able bodied hand should have been deployed
to apprehend the heinous violator who committed such horrid acts against romance.
To this I say; long live the ghost of the fallen angel, fallen angel which was you,
but no longer. Now altered into blue eyed devil, blue eyed demon, blue eyed evil.
So sweet and innocent you once were, when you went looking for a young man’s heart;
taught to be good by your parents; to treat others with decency and respect,
and to never talk to strangers, especially when within a strange land.
You had your own ideals on love however, your own beliefs on romance;
you enjoyed the company of older men for their experience and younger men for their passion,
until you were barbarically taken advantage of, and it was only then that we fell in love.
But perhaps all of it was nothing less than a dream, and if it were, it was a good dream while it lasted
within the fabricated reality of my mind,
where I daydreamed in the dark spaces of this cold, cold world.
However, if it were to happen again
there are some things I would have to recommend.
Instead of surrendering your entire self, you could have put in half of your heart,
and I could have put in half of mine, and together we would have made a complete whole,
and therefore you would have been without a fathomable excuse to leave me,
because losing you was difficult, for you’re like no woman I’ve ever known.
I wish I had the power to see into your heart, to feel as you do,
because I cannot believe you could forget what we had so easily
and begin something new with a certain someone.
I believe it’s a facade, a shitty disguise,
because I think, or I hope, although I don’t know which just yet, that you still love me,
for the greater the romance, the worse the pain, and therefore the greater the rebound.
When we cried, it was comparative to rain in a formidable storm,
and when you started up your vehicle, the engine throttled like thunder,
right before you left at a speed faster than that of lightning.
Over time I had said jokes and I had confessed my feelings;
if only this were the way love was supposed to be, you would still be in my arms tonight.
I would have popped you the question; I certainly would have, this is my truthful confession,
but you tore out my heart from its place in my chest before I even had the chance,
and yet I am still the proud owner of my heart’s train, but rather regrettably
and unfortunately, it is at the end of its line,
for no more tracks will be laid upon this broken romance.
Now, when I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror,
I see there’s a hideous monster staring right back at me.
This monster, he is representative of my terribly scarred heart,
for I cannot believe you are walking around with somebody else
and not just walking. But I do not dare imagine, or even write down, what else you are doing,
because it is just too painful to imagine your Heavenly body loving somebody else.
You say you do not know what is happening, you do not know what you are doing,
and in turn I reply, it is obvious. You are going to do each other,
all the two of you need to discover is where? Why? And how?
Later I regret saying this, but admit it, I will not.
All I can say, is your new man, he had better hold you real tight,
because if he don’t, I swear to you, I’ll steal you right back to me.
You say he’s great, this guy you talk about, the guy you’re constantly with,
and I ask, how can you be with him, I cannot believe he’s your type.
You say you have never felt this kind of love for any other man before.
You think you have finally found the one, that you have finally got it right.
Such words are music to your ears, but they certainly are not to mine.
How do you think it makes me feel to find everything we had was flawed?
Was I simply and always invisible to you – like a specter it would seem?
Was I a sand man, but a man made of sand, who would blow apart and disappear?
However, and it might just amaze you to learn, that I still love you;
the same way a verse loves a couplet; the same way a song loves a rhyme.
You could change your face, hair and name. You could flee to a foreign land,
and still I would have nothing but romanticised feelings for you.
If you want these feelings I have for you to end
you had better get yourself a gun for hire
because I am not ever going to stop loving you,
even after all that you did to me and I to you,
because I love you now, exactly as I loved you then.
I have always loved you, and I fear I always will.

Just so Perfect

Synopsis: About a woman who is, as the title suggests, ‘just so perfect’, yet she is at the time wounded from her previous relationship and is in need of consolidating. The piece also tells the story of the man who has loved her so all these years and has only just realised that what he has felt all this time was indeed love, and not a fabrication.

I hear many voices; all of which are so clear.
I can hear them talking, but I can’t believe my ears.
You broke up with your boyfriend,
that is the talk of the town.
You were the greatest girlfriend,
but now you live with a frown.
To have you in my life I would do anything.
I mean that, because to me you’re everything.

You are so beautiful,
more than incredible,
you are just so overly cute,
want to say ‘I love you’
but it seems so moot.
Now what can I do
when my love is a defect
and you are just so perfect.

It sucks to realise love has been there all along.
How could I never see it? Is that right or wrong?
When I expressed to you ‘you’re beautiful’
I admit, I unfortunately lied,
for your beauty is unfathomable
and in my heart, I feel for you inside.
To be with you no sacrifice would be too great,
just as there is no promise, I would ever break.

You cannot escape my love; do not try to run,
damn, it is great to have found my certain someone.
For when we are together
my heart never weeps nor cries;
as long as there is forever
my love for you will never die.
So please darling, I beg you, give my love a chance
and allow me to cripple you with this romance.

Without you I am lost; I’m not at all myself.
Your beauty is comparative to endless wealth.
I did say ‘I love you,’
but I was just so wrong.
I am in love, that part is true,
but love could never last so long.
Such a feeling tastes exactly like a first kiss.
Nothing in this world could be better than all this.

I cannot believe my extraordinary luck.
I’ve managed to find the flower I wish to pluck.
You’re more radiant than Heaven above,
but sometimes you act so negatively.
I get to my feet to defend my love
and without a second thought you slay me.
You cut me with such passion, making my heart sigh,
and then I remember, that true love never dies.