A Feeling Too Far
This face – scorched by the sun;
these hands – tarnished by work;
this heart – broken with pain,
my love – bedridden with sorrow;
is there no second coming? Is there no tomorrow?
Am I doomed for failure?
Am I the odd man out?
Is this my punishment
for being alive today?
What is life if it’s not lived in?
What is death if it comes too soon?
What is heartbreak if it is forever?
What is the night sky without her moon?
Like the night my blood is black
and like a train wreck my heart is broken.
I have tried desperately to speak up,
but my heart always remains unspoken.
Where does this infinitude of pain come from?
Why has it chosen to latch upon me?
Why can’t the past remain the past?
Perhaps cuz I can’t stop reminiscing over the memory.
I remember quite clearly;
I did not join with you,
I fell in love with you;
my heart demanded that you be mine.
I needed you like muscle needs flesh;
like a pair of lungs need oxygen;
like a vein needs a river of blood;
like a heart needs a lover to hold onto.
I only wish in our final moments,
when we said our final failed goodbyes,
that you had kissed my pain stained lips,
and allowed me to live just once before I died.
And died I did, but not in the arms of my beloved.
I lay motionless on cold wooden floor, looking at an afterlife
that was ready to rip the heart right out from my chest,
from the knowledge that you were not destined to be my future wife.
However, I fear the feelings still remain;
feelings that have gone too far;
that have outlasted their expiration date,
for I continue to be ravenous for your passion,
because as long as my heart beats for you, I am not dead yet.